____twoism

Dragon wrote:And, while there, they find...

They find a very annoyed turquoise70.

"You skipped my bit!"

Mike and Marcus had no idea what this guy was on about, but he was holding a gun, which was worrying. But, inspiration!

Marcus quietly got a blank cassette out of his jacket labelled "Old Tunes Vol. 3" and quickly threw it to a random person nearby, shouting "SAVE THE TUNES!". The gunman was distracted and ran after the tape, leaving the brothers ample time to escape.

They finally got into WARP headquarters, and found...

Warp's President, with a sword through his back.

"Who did this?!?" they both exclaimed.
"Se....Sephiroth...ungh!"

Warp's president lay dead.
"Fuck" said Marcus, "Who the hell is Sephiroth?! This is not cool!"
"Where are you?!" yelled Mike. "What do you want?!"

"The bocset." said Sephiroth as he walked out from the shadows.
""I must have it."

"For fucks sake, fine." said Mike.

"And... I want Acid Memories, Hooper Bay, Closes Vol.1 (and any other volumes), Play by Numbers, and Catalog 3 (and any other catalogs), and the unreleased Geogaddi tracks."

"Woah, wait, now you're going too far" said Marcus.
"Yeah, we'll fight you for them!" said Mike.
"Wait, Michael, I don't think we-"

Too late.

"Hey, this tape is empty!" said a Walkman-wearing turquoise70.

"I have it!" the crazed fanboy muttered, "I'll shoot them down and wear their skins around like sticky diving suits! Hee hee ha haw! Then I'LL be Boards of Canada!"

He fired, but missed awfully and felled that Sephiroth fellow. Oh well, that's just as good, he thought, and danced away naked into the bushes.

Mike and Marcus hardly had time to devise a plan for the corpse, when suddenly...

an army tank crashed through the wall and sped out through the other wall, crushing the corpse as it went.

This puzzled the brothers greatly as they ran out of the now-slightly-collapsing headquarters, until Marcus remembered an invite he had lost in the previous confusion to Richard's birthday party.

As the Warp headquarters collapsed, they decided to...

CoBoC wrote:Warp's President, with a sword through his back.

"Who did this?!?" they both exclaimed.
"Se....Sephiroth...ungh!"

Warp's president lay dead.
"Fuck" said Marcus, "Who the hell is Sephiroth?! This is not cool!"
"Where are you?!" yelled Mike. "What do you want?!"

"The bocset." said Sephiroth as he walked out from the shadows.
""I must have it."

"For fucks sake, fine." said Mike.

"And... I want Acid Memories, Hooper Bay, Closes Vol.1 (and any other volumes), Play by Numbers, and Catalog 3 (and any other catalogs), and the unreleased Geogaddi tracks."

"Woah, wait, now you're going too far" said Marcus.
"Yeah, we'll fight you for them!" said Mike.
"Wait, Michael, I don't think we-"

Too late.

YES! FF7 Rulez!!

el-seadragon wrote:an army tank crashed through the wall and sped out through the other wall, crushing the corpse as it went.

This puzzled the brothers greatly as they ran out of the now-slightly-collapsing headquarters, until Marcus remembered an invite he had lost in the previous confusion to Richard's birthday party.

As the Warp headquarters collapsed, they decided to...

Record the noise for their next track. They almost got crushed by falling debris, but managed to make it out in time. Now they had a kickass noise of a building falling down from the inside, which they would later record onto tape cassettes and re-record playing from 4 tape cassettes at the same time, and then reverse them, and sequence them into a beat. They would add some childrens voices, and play an amazing synth melody. They would top this off with some reversed and non-reversed bells and bird calls, and the sound of a wheat field blowing in the wind. This song would be known as "Anxeic Field"

They decide that since this was a very personal track, yet just about mediocre enough to be released, that it would appear as a "Japanese only" track for their next album.

"I thought we were gonna release 'Isolated Receiver' as the Japan only track to confuse Joyrex", said Marcus.

"No, let's not confuse the fans any further", said Mike, "And Joyrex deserves more credibility. As soon as we've had the three-month break after the album's finished, we'll tell mdg about it and people will start believing him again".

"I've never heard you talk about an online fan like that before", replied Marcus. "Did he make a flattering post about us again".

"No, he made a flattering post about ME!", shouted Mike.

"Oh god, not this again".....

"Hey, Mike, why hasn't anything interesting happened to us in the last two months?"
"I'm not sure", replied Mike. "Maybe we've been too close to technology".
"Really? You think so?"
"Definitely!", insisted Mike". All these mad-made inventions and machines around here are disturbing our Hexagon chi!".
"I think your right", said Marcus. "Should we go outside?"
"Definitely!" Said Mike. "Let's lock up the studio and get ourselfs into A Beautiful Place Out In The Country a soon as we can!"

So they venture out into the woods, with many bright flowers and climbable trees, free from all the positive ions and anti-hexagon vibes of mankind. Suddenly, they are confronted by a giant asteroid.

Looking into the sky, they can estimate that the asteroid will crash within the week.
"Black materia!" exclaimed Mike.
"What can we do?" asked Marcus.
"Pray," Mike replied, "We can pray."
At that point, there was a rustle in the bushes...

Treefingers wrote:Looking into the sky, they can estimate that the asteroid will crash within the week.
"Black materia!" exclaimed Mike.
"What can we do?" asked Marcus.
"Pray," Mike replied, "We can pray."
At that point, there was a rustle in the bushes...

...It was Tetsuya Nomura, he jumped out of the bushes holding copyright papers for Final Fantasy 7. Luckily a small piece of the meteor had broken off and gotten ahead, striking down to earth towards Tetsuya Nomura. It missed him, but caught the papers he was holding. no longer was he in control of the storyline for FF7. The trees grew fingers and rejoiced over an unknown victory. The brothers were baffled. They quickly...

...blew their whistles, summoning their robotic Space Rhino.
"We have to get to Io!" said Marcus, "Before it's too late!"
"Ok, Marky!" said the Space Rhino, racistly.
The Space Rhino shot off into space...

At the speed of light, having eaten a rare aqua-honeycomb substance that increases speed by a factor of the square root of 3.
As they approach the volcanic turbulence of Jupiter's closest moon, they start to hear a bombastic, yet heavenly noise.
"What could that be?", Said Mike, upon hearing the noise.
"It's coming from over there", said Marcus, pointing towards Jupiter.
"Jupiter cannae make that kind of noise!", replied Mike.
"No, no, the spacecraft over there", said Marcus. "The bloody gravity is pulling my arm".

They listened to the riveting ambience the spaceship is producing. A noise that, if sampled and structured into a beat and a nostalgic melody, would drive all the anti-hexagon pollution out of one's body and vibrate one's brain back into the pattern assumed while in the womb, leaving the listener in a total state of relaxation.

Although this had already been achieved on "Farewell Fire" and "Julie And Candy", the Boards needed to get hold of recording equipment right away.

After crash-landing on nearby Europa, they found a rusty DAT machine sticking out of the ice.
"Good thing I always have a cassette handy!" said Mike, pulling one from his coat pocket.
With a crude combination of solar panels from a crashed satellite and the BoC Bros. own magical know-how, they succeeded in powering the DAT machine and recorded the noise. The brothers were pleased, until Marcus came to a sudden realization:
"How the hell are we going to get back home?!" he shouted angrily.

Just then, fate intervened.....

Underneath the ice, eerie vibrating powers were digging up. The next moment they stood on a giant gyroscope that brought the brothers right into the studio of Sesame street.

Something strange had happened while they were on top of the gyroscope. Their eardrums had inverted in short time intervals causing and average sentence length to process in reversal in their minds. The sesame street residents slowly approached the brothers speaking unknown things. Both brothers screamed in fright.
Marcus: "I have an idea"
Mike: "What?"
Marcus: "We need to........

Marcus: ".......do something about our washing machine when we get back to Hexagon Sun!! But I think at THIS moment we should punch Elmo!"
Mike then punched Elmo square in the face.
Marcus: "Stealthy punch, Mikey!"
Mike: "I can't believe no-one saw that!"
Oscar the Grouch: "I saw through my red eye and the only punishment for this is by Mow-Mow!"
Marcus: "Not Mow-Mow!! We're doomed!"
Mike: "Don't be so sure, Marky! Look in the sky...!"

Mike: "!...Is that?...Is that Solid Snake?"
With an epic landing, Snake greeted the brothers with a nod. Suddenly he seemed to blend into the very air around him.
With all of the sesame street residents moving in closer and closer BoC was sure to be doomed.
But wait! Snake comes out of a corridor holding Oscar the Grouch in a CQC hold.
"No body move!" Snake commands in a raspy deep voice.
The brother's hopes seem much brighter.
"Let these men go or the grouch eats it!" Exclaims snake.
"Man, no one cares about that mutha f@#$er." Says big bird with one eyebrow raised. big bird then pulls out a 9 from his lower back and sends the grouch to an early grave.
Mike stares in terror. Marcus drops his jaw.
Snake drops the grouch's body and....

*This thread needs to be revived..at least until some real news surfaces - its something fun to do?*

Eats it, while the Sandisons stare on in shock. Mike and Marcus look at each other, look at Snake with Oscar the Grouch's entrails all over his mouth and say "Screw this guy, we're going home". Back on Earth, the Sandisons decide to browse through Twoism to catch up on everything they've missed.

"The fans are getting ravenous, Marcus," says Michael. "We need to get this album finished and released before they totally snap and track us down."
"You're right," replies Marcus. "I guess 4 years of waiting is enough time to...." He stops speaking abruptly, in mid-sentence.
"What is it??" says Mike. Marcus stares in shock at the monitor, at the most recently posted thread.
"Oh my god" are the only words Mike can say before he opens the thread......

"There's this thread called BOC Wars, and they're detailing every single action we make!"
In order to test whether the thread was truly reliable or just a coincidence the size of the Pacific Ocean, Marcus decided to...

purchase a rare antiquarian vase. It reminded him of his childhood and was also very valuable. Contemplating the exquisite craftsmanship of the vase, a kind of lost craftsmanship, lost to time, he filled it with an ocean of turquoise tears. Light reflected from the surface of this ocean and shone into his eyes, and he did see his past.

Hypnotized momentarily,