____twoism

there were many armed baby chimps, robots, and disgruntled muppets to overcome.. but they were no match for Fredd-E's gigantic cock.

The remaining survivors, who were anomalous to the effects of the apparatus made their way into the bunker.

They were started to find inside....

"but aesthetics made the foolish mistake of stumbling on a trip wire, which triggered the orange alert signal. a signal mike and marcus had dreaded hearing since the leaking of old tunes. they gathered all their essentials - the secret weapon, church bulletins and the special edition fischer-price ouija board mike had won in a local circus - and ran for the pentlands"

"on the way to the pentlands, they decided to stop at the mall to cop some fresh new Northface gear, but were terrified to discover..."

that D4 their worst enemy/fan arranged a gang rape they couldn't get out of unless...

they sealed their anuses with cement.

but there was no wet cement readily available. they looked at eachother, pale-faced, stomach churning, drenched in a cold sweat when suddenly mike remembered "the geogaddi kaleidascopes"...

and handed everybody one to shove up their anus, rendering it inaccessible to gang-rapists.


At this point an eagle came and stabbed a random forum member in the head. With it's beak, yeah. Archrival, high at the time, said that this was an eagle in his mind, and claimed it was a prophecy announcing the arrival of a boxset.

but to everyones surprise mike gets arrested on child pornography charges and it turns out that all those samples were sexually repressed visions with hidden messages made from the sounds of kiddy porn videos...........soooooooooo...(i cant believe i just thought that way...HWAGTH!!!!)
(DISCLAIMER:the stories and views of this thread are ficticious. any relation to those living or dead is purely coincidental)

hills west, a big fan, we'll let you guess what of, bails mike out of Jail.

Since he couldntpay, he stupidly bribed the police officers with his body, but luckily the police were crooked and saw this to be acceptable.

"at this point, they were still scratching their chins trying to figure out what the hell that post by goiter sanchez actually meant...then they went to borders to buy a thesaurus...."

Only to discover that nobody at the borders actually spoke coherent english.

Nobody could work out what "WOOS A FERSOOOREA-ASSS" meant anyway, EVEN the scottish members, so they just ran away flailing their arms.

"So they fled further, tracking through the forests of moon, yes, forest of moon, a secret dimensional wolrd that is a copy of ours except it's where numbers dance and play. They then spot a live concert where The Chemical Brothers where touring in forest of moon. They lsitened to Asleep From Day and One Two Many Mornings and ingested South-American frog slime...

they got a pink skin out of it, and went to a liquorshop for some bottles of tequila, getting drunk they figured out that Goiter is an alien who sold all his BoC records to a demon that looked like a cross-dresser, he or she told them to...

get naked or die, HUMAN!!

"Meanwhile back @ Hexagon Sun... Melissa Olson and Wendy Miller were busy artificially aging field recordings for Mike & Marcus by dipping old cassettes in bidets full of Yak placenta and depleted uranium..."

the odour of the disintegrating tapes slowly floated through the crisp edinburgh air and was picked up by marcus' accute sense of smell. remarkably, this made the two of them tremendously aroused, so they began moonwalking back in the direction of hexagon sun...

- and not just any moonwalk. A moonwalk which was so shockingly bad, that the UFOs competely forgot what the fuck was going on!? and ran away from this monstrosity.

Everybody followed the Boards back to Hexagon Sun, hoping that they were too caught up in their dodgy dance grooves to notice.

Quote from Goiter Sanchez, "must. steal. secret. ingredient. omg." But when they arrived at hexagon sun, they saw that the secret ingredient was just a

stail chicken and bacon sandwich marcus had preserved in his schoolbag since he was 13 years old. the boards kneeled before it, chanting mathematical fucntions in an ancient scottish gaelic. it was at this time that they realised their new north face jackets were two sizes too small. they thought to themselves "how could this be?" when suddenly mike turned to his brother and said "shhh... do you hear that?" the twosim collective heckled and jeered "that's for the t-shirts you bastards" so then...

the 2 brothers where insulted by that remark of the twosim collective and are planning a sweet revenge! that box they all wan't so bad will have a surprise they will never forget. it will not only contain the music they like but also..

Peter Frampton's entire catalogue as is, with a special guest appearence by...