____twoism

granted but everytime you try and play for an audience, you drop the guitar and shit your pants

I wish I had a magical garden that would grow what ever I wanted it to grow.

granted, but the flowers smell like shit and the fruits and vegies taste like sperm

I wish my sister would finally shut the fuck up...

she shuts the fuck up permanently but when you speak you now carry the sound of her voice HAHA

i wish to have exact change for everything i want to purchase.

Granted, but you got arrested becouse the manager of the store thought you where stealing.

I wish I had clothes that stayed clean for ever, and always smelled fresh!

granted, but when they were dry cleaned the place burned down and your clothes as well.

I wish I had a year's worth of orange juice in my garage.

doubleEntendre wrote:granted, but when they were dry cleaned the place burned down and your clothes as well.

I wish I had a year's worth of orange juice in my garage.

granted, but your garage explodes

I wish I knew how many gallons I've pee'd this year

I'd have to kill you if I told you that, Agent Paracat...


I wish I had more edible chocolate and a metabolism to support it all.

Granted. but I sneeked some razors in the chocolat cutting your internal organs up.

I wish I had three sided underwair, so I could wear them inside out, normal AND sideways. That sure saves loundry...

they have a mechanism to make you piss yourself.

I wish they didn't.