____twoism

Jonse wrote: Like a great many others from this time (and really the bulk of anything I posted in my 20s) I really regret this post. Not trying to say I did so wrong, I remember where my heart was that day. I don't blame myself or others for being naive. If I had just taken a moment to notice how better things were getting and only consider the possibility they could become so unfathomably worse, I would not have written such a callous fucking remark. Even though spaces were cropping up all around me and I was certainly aware of people like Nicole, I didn't understand yet. I wanted to, the desire was always there but I didn't understand gender dysphoria and was narrowly focused on the kind of minutiae the same monsters who want trans people gone are obsessed with today. Thank God things became clearer.

I don't know if this is some kind of apology, or reflection on growth, or neither or both.

Jonse wrote:I don't know if this is some kind of apology, or reflection on growth, or neither or both.

turquoise70 wrote:I could probably come up with a lot of answers to this, because my parents fumbled hard, but the first things that come to mind right away I guess would be something like... one, when they say who they are, believe them. I'm sure there are kids out there who don't fully grasp what they're saying but my *personal* experience of genderqueer and trans kids/tweens has been that they show a remarkably well-developed sense of self awareness compared to some of their peers. And two, try and give them space to be unsure or second-guess or try a new thing without dismissing the experimentation as "not you". In my household, "going through a phase" was used as a derogatory expression, as a way of dismissing and belittling the kid (me) for not having my entire identity locked in right away, and it definitely left a bad mark on my psyche.

Like, the fact alone that you're already letting your kid know your love for them isn't going to change, that you're signaling you're okay with what they're feeling, and you're asking advice from people who've had that experience - says to me that both these things are probably already obvious to you without my needing to say anything about them, I'm sure.

Josh wrote:I guess this also serves as a good reminder for me to check in with them regularly and see if they feel they're being supported and doing right by them.

Jonse wrote:Cupz needs to give me a phone number or email or something so I can contact him again.

Negamuse wrote:Honestly nothing to do with body integrity or any manifestation of the difference between the body you inhabit and the body you feel is yours would entirely surprise me

Cupz wrote:I've been pondering lately if I might be non-binary.

A binary is either/or and nothing in between. And if I had to put my identity entirely in a "man" box I feel important information about me is lost. I also notice I feel agitated when someone talks about me in terms of my manliness, as if I don't really associate with that social construct.