____twoism

hexagon son wrote:None of you should really be contemplating suicide until you are inyour 30's. That is your make or break time. Your 20's are filled with choices and opportunities. Imnot saying it will get better, it hasn't for me. I just made the wrong decisions. Enjoy your 20's!

Well, unfortunately, suicide is one of the leading causes of teenage/young adult death.


I think most people realize somewhere between the ages of 15-30 the true nature of this planet, this race, corporatism, religion, psychology, etc. and are overwhelmed with the utter darkness and corruptions humans have brought to this planet. They realize they are virtually unable to do something about it to a significant degree alone, and they won't have it, so they kill themselves. Also, every once and a while before they kill themselves, they go out and kill 10 - 35 people at their school first.

I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

Synthestesia wrote: I have nothing to look forward to

find something
you've got plenty of time

Synthestesia wrote:I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

How old are you?

Synthestesia wrote:I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

The fact that it scares you suggests to me that you're not ready at all, far from it. I won't pretend I have the answers, but you'll find them.

"You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope the train will take you, but you can't be sure. But it doesn't matter because we'll be together."

Synthestesia wrote:I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

Nobody is ever ready to die, to accept death is to be defeated by life. Your teenage years are always tough, but you have so so much to look forward to believe me, give it time. With time comes new found love and so much more.

On a more somber note I've just found out my best friend has a brain tumour, he's in his early 20's. In a couple of days we will find out how bad it is etc. I'm hoping so so so much, beyonnd words, that everything is going to be ok. Needless to say, it's put things into perspective. Embrace everything in life as much as you can because it can be taken from you or the one's that you love at any given moment.

I've been unemployed since the end of December... I'm the happiest I've ever been.

BrandNewRetro wrote:On a more somber note I've just found out my best friend has a brain tumour, he's in his early 20's. In a couple of days we will find out how bad it is etc. I'm hoping so so so much, beyonnd words, that everything is going to be ok. Needless to say, it's put things into perspective. Embrace everything in life as much as you can because it can be taken from you or the one's that you love at any given moment.

Shit, i'm sorry to hear that man. Be strong for your friend.

jakestott wrote:

BrandNewRetro wrote:On a more somber note I've just found out my best friend has a brain tumour, he's in his early 20's. In a couple of days we will find out how bad it is etc. I'm hoping so so so much, beyonnd words, that everything is going to be ok. Needless to say, it's put things into perspective. Embrace everything in life as much as you can because it can be taken from you or the one's that you love at any given moment.

Shit, i'm sorry to hear that man. Be strong for your friend.

Cheers matey! I'll know more on the situation tomorrow...got everything crossed.

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid |||||| 22% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||| 46% 53%
Antisocial |||||| 30% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 70% 47%
Histrionic |||||||||| 34% 43%
Narcissistic |||| 18% 41%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 54% 39%
Dependent |||||| 30% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42% 40%

(latest column is average score on that site)

I'm turning into a schizoid even more than I already was. The past five, six days or even longer I've spent a total of two hours max in the presence of another human being and I love it. Plus my interest in romantic relationships has fallen to an absolute low now.

Paranoid |||||||||||||||||| 78% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 66% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||| 34% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 70% 47%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66% 43%
Narcissistic |||||| 22% 41%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 42% 39%
Dependent |||||||||||||||| 62% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 74% 40%

I haven't taken this test in awhile... things have totally changed 0__0 definitely more paranoid, definitely more strange perception wise. But I am okay with it. A test like this didn't really surprise me- I'm self aware to realize everything "wrong" with me.

I'm learning to accept the fact that I can have such otherworldly sensations, and use them to feel extremely positive, almost like I'm high. I'm prolly going nuts but I don't care. As long as I'm happy as the person I am.

Spenner wrote:As long as I'm happy as the person I am.

perfectly stated.

Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 62% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 53%
Antisocial |||||||||||||| 54% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 82% 47%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 62% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 58% 41%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50% 39%
Dependent |||||||||||||| 54% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 78% 40%

here i am

oh boy here we go

Paranoid |||| 14% 49%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% 53%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 66% 53%
Antisocial |||||| 26% 47%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 62% 47%
Histrionic |||||||||| 34% 43%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 34% 41%
Avoidant |||| 18% 39%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42% 40%

All of mine were actually above the average, but that could be a bad thing as well ;p

Edit: Whoops, ment below.

Ambien.

Rodheh wrote:Shit you guys...


I'm so in love right now! I'm so madly in love with a girl I met over the internet who has a personality just to my specifications...


We're separated by land though....oh so far away.


How can I make this beautiful thing a reality?

How far away, exactly, is far away?

Synthestesia wrote:I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

Buddy! Don't think that way! I've been there... trust me. Unless you have a terminal illness and only a few months to live, you have EVERYTHING to look forward to. If you don't have anything to live for, you've got nothing to lose. Follow your passions, dreams. If you don't have any, you need to get out there and find some. Take up a new, physical hobby. Travel. Open your mind without resorting to drugs. Take risks, do crazy things. Take social risks. Realize the power that you have to pursue whatever you desire. And I'm not talking in some new-age nonsense terms. Just think about it. You can go out there and do anything you want--no one is going to stop you. If they try, tell them to piss off. I used to feel exactly the same way you do now. I've made great strides in overcoming what I refer to as ANGST to discover that it's really MY OWN responsibility to create a better world for myself. I don't know what you're going through, you may have problems I've never faced, but the key is to love yourself and those around you, and you will see magic happen--no matter how dark the road may appear to you at this present moment. I promise you.

PS Smiling in the midst of pain/suffering/tragedy/loneliness is incredibly powerful.

saturdayindex wrote:

Synthestesia wrote:I've been scaring myself recently with how ready I am to die. I have nothing to look forward to, live for, and all that shit. The only thing holding me back is guilt of what it would do to my friends and family, so here I am.

Buddy! Don't think that way! I've been there... trust me. Unless you have a terminal illness and only a few months to live, you have EVERYTHING to look forward to. If you don't have anything to live for, you've got nothing to lose. Follow your passions, dreams. If you don't have any, you need to get out there and find some. Take up a new, physical hobby. Travel. Open your mind without resorting to drugs. Take risks, do crazy things. Take social risks. Realize the power that you have to pursue whatever you desire. And I'm not talking in some new-age nonsense terms. Just think about it. You can go out there and do anything you want--no one is going to stop you. If they try, tell them to piss off. I used to feel exactly the same way you do now. I've made great strides in overcoming what I refer to as ANGST to discover that it's really MY OWN responsibility to create a better world for myself. I don't know what you're going through, you may have problems I've never faced, but the key is to love yourself and those around you, and you will see magic happen--no matter how dark the road may appear to you at this present moment. I promise you.

PS Smiling in the midst of pain/suffering/tragedy/loneliness is incredibly powerful.

I would second that, I am in My early forties and the stretch between 12 and 20 was an absolute nightmare bullshit hell, and lo and behold the 20's and 30's rocked! Recently things are on the down, but I am dealing with My father's decline and other personal BS as well as professional hard times (unrelated to the situation, but directly in line with economical downturns and outsourcing) anyhow long story short, even if I feel like shit, as right now, I know I'll see My kids in a few hours, that I can have a beer and then walk out in the park, mountain or just take My camera out and shoot a few pictures. Life's not a movie, it has flaws, severe flaws, but so do we and that's the fabric of being a human being, flaws and amazing force, throughs and shallows...

It gets better... always