____twoism

Posted: **Wed May 23, 2012 3:48 pm**

you know, mrmessiah, i think you hit the point perfectly.

the whole "it's more of an illusion, you "get over it" by just kinda taking yourself out of the pretext" kind of thing

Posted: **Wed May 23, 2012 7:16 pm**

Waterbagel wrote:you know, mrmessiah, i think you hit the point perfectly.

the whole "it's more of an illusion, you "get over it" by just kinda taking yourself out of the pretext" kind of thing

I tend to agree... The times I've been "above" the boundaries of my mind, and let myself focus on everything as a whole, I've been able to realize the insignificance of the feelings that bring me down.

But yeah... everyone's way different. You can't really generalize a solution for everyone's problems, because not everyone has grown to the same problematic state, from all their past experiences that have brought them there (willing or unwilling).

I know this girl very well, who lives far away from me. I've known her for years, and I tend to keep track of people's thought processes, and derive states of mind from someone's typing patterns. Because I know so much about her situation, on the inside, I've been able to help her through a lot. She's off antidepressant meds and is able to make herself feel happy; I'm working on it myself, but I was able to see a solution within her by knowing the patterns of thinking that inspired her words to share.

It's kind of hard to explain, but it was a feat nonetheless for me... but the point I guess is that the more we know, the more we can help. The same goes for people that hold back giving out details to a doctor, and wonder why they are still sick.

Posted: **Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:58 am**

Despite every argument here, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to kill myself. All I want to do is remove one more piece of shit from the planet.

Posted: **Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:35 pm**

Julian Candy wrote:Despite every argument here, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to kill myself. All I want to do is remove one more piece of shit from the planet.

Posted: **Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:23 pm**

hexagon son wrote:
Julian Candy wrote:Despite every argument here, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to kill myself. All I want to do is remove one more piece of shit from the planet.

If you are going to do this, make sure you leave enough money behind at cover your left expenses and the cost of your cremation. I was looking into the costs of killing myself, and in Japan it would leave my family with a tremendous financial burden. So even that is out the window for me. If I went back to Canada, then I would perhaps only need about $1000 or to cover the expenses of taking my own life. In Japan, the minimum you are looking at is about $7000 USD.

Posted: **Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:32 pm**

hexagon son wrote:
hexagon son wrote:
Julian Candy wrote:Despite every argument here, I think it's inevitable that I'm going to kill myself. All I want to do is remove one more piece of shit from the planet.
If you are going to do this, make sure you leave enough money behind at cover your left expenses and the cost of your cremation. I was looking into the costs of killing myself, and in Japan it would leave my family with a tremendous financial burden. So even that is out the window for me. If I went back to Canada, then I would perhaps only need about $1000 or to cover the expenses of taking my own life. In Japan, the minimum you are looking at is about $7000 USD.

What exactly do all those expenses cover? Is it just optional shit like a funeral, or does the family of someone who dies literally get fined for it?

This kind of shit has always bothered me.

Posted: **Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:39 pm**

Rodheh wrote:
hexagon son wrote:
hexagon son wrote:
If you are going to do this, make sure you leave enough money behind at cover your left expenses and the cost of your cremation. I was looking into the costs of killing myself, and in Japan it would leave my family with a tremendous financial burden. So even that is out the window for me. If I went back to Canada, then I would perhaps only need about $1000 or to cover the expenses of taking my own life. In Japan, the minimum you are looking at is about $7000 USD.
What exactly do all those expenses cover? Is it just optional shit like a funeral, or does the family of someone who dies literally get fined for it?

This kind of shit has always bothered me.

No, these are basic costs of body removal and cremation and body handling without funeral and wake. You know, when you kill yourself, there are expenses of the transportation of body, the burning and collection of ashes.

Oh, and yes. The next of kin has to fit the bill. I tell you man, if you jump in front of a train in Japan, JR (Japan Rail) will sue the family for expenses too!

Posted: **Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:59 pm**

hexagon son wrote:
Rodheh wrote:
hexagon son wrote: If you are going to do this, make sure you leave enough money behind at cover your left expenses and the cost of your cremation. I was looking into the costs of killing myself, and in Japan it would leave my family with a tremendous financial burden. So even that is out the window for me. If I went back to Canada, then I would perhaps only need about $1000 or to cover the expenses of taking my own life. In Japan, the minimum you are looking at is about $7000 USD.
What exactly do all those expenses cover? Is it just optional shit like a funeral, or does the family of someone who dies literally get fined for it?

This kind of shit has always bothered me.
No, these are basic costs of body removal and cremation and body handling without funeral and wake. You know, when you kill yourself, there are expenses of the transportation of body, the burning and collection of ashes.

Oh, and yes. The next of kin has to fit the bill. I tell you man, if you jump in front of a train in Japan, JR (Japan Rail) will sue the family for expenses too!

Well yeah, I know, but 7000 dollars? Man, that's steep.

I guess the best way to kill yourself in Japan would be out at sea, then.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2012 5:18 pm**

I'm not depressed today.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2012 5:54 pm**

Work cut us down to half days. I am bound to get laid off. Fuck these thoughts of mine. Anyone ever want to finish off with a grand finale? Or ever make the transformation from good to evil? You try to be a good person, to do good things... And what do you get for it? A big Fuck You. I think I will begin constructing my hole to crawl into.

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:16 pm**

You guys, I'm sorry

Please don't.

http://bogglelovesyou.tumblr.com/

Posted: **Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:52 pm**

polar sky wrote:Work cut us down to half days. I am bound to get laid off. Fuck these thoughts of mine. Anyone ever want to finish off with a grand finale? Or ever make the transformation from good to evil? You try to be a good person, to do good things... And what do you get for it? A big Fuck You. I think I will begin constructing my hole to crawl into.

Man redundancy is a bitch, no mistake. Been there, done that. It's a scary, scary place when the safety net of regular money leaves and gives you 8 hours a day to ponder it at the same time for good measure. Add to that my first marriage going down the shitter 18 months earlier, which I still hadn't come to terms with and I start having some very, VERY dark thoughts.

Pleased to say that a few months and years down the line I'm remarried, in a solid job and I've a 3 week old daughter who is the apple of my eye.

Very easy for me to say 'hang in there' and all that bollocks - it's you having to plough through all that crap - but it will pick up. Good things DO happen to good people. Sometimes you have to keep the faith.

Good luck

Posted: **Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:03 am**

Mexicola wrote:
polar sky wrote:Work cut us down to half days. I am bound to get laid off. Fuck these thoughts of mine. Anyone ever want to finish off with a grand finale? Or ever make the transformation from good to evil? You try to be a good person, to do good things... And what do you get for it? A big Fuck You. I think I will begin constructing my hole to crawl into.
Man redundancy is a bitch, no mistake. Been there, done that. It's a scary, scary place when the safety net of regular money leaves and gives you 8 hours a day to ponder it at the same time for good measure. Add to that my first marriage going down the shitter 18 months earlier, which I still hadn't come to terms with and I start having some very, VERY dark thoughts.

Pleased to say that a few months and years down the line I'm remarried, in a solid job and I've a 3 week old daughter who is the apple of my eye.

Very easy for me to say 'hang in there' and all that bollocks - it's you having to plough through all that crap - but it will pick up. Good things DO happen to good people. Sometimes you have to keep the faith.

Good luck

Thanks man, your words help.

Posted: **Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:57 pm**

turquoise70 wrote:You guys, I'm sorry

Please don't.

http://bogglelovesyou.tumblr.com/

The world improves tenfold when you know there's an owl who cares about you.

Posted: **Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:42 pm**

Treefingers wrote:
turquoise70 wrote:You guys, I'm sorry

Please don't.

http://bogglelovesyou.tumblr.com/
The world improves tenfold when you know there's an owl who cares about you.

Yes! People can balk at me if they want, but I get no small amount of genuine inspiration and joy from Boggle. He is the best owl.

Posted: **Wed Jul 04, 2012 2:31 am**

I was prescribed this anti-depressant today. Anyone here that uses it? Experiences?

I'm a little reluctant to start using psychiatric medication in general due to possibly dangerous side-effects and anti-depressants specifically because it's well known that they might increase suicide ideation (the past year(s) I've thought about suicide many times in varying degrees of seriousness).

Posted: **Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:12 am**

Guido wrote:I was prescribed this anti-depressant today. Anyone here that uses it? Experiences?

I'm a little reluctant to start using psychiatric medication in general due to possibly dangerous side-effects and anti-depressants specifically because it's well known that they might increase suicide ideation (the past year(s) I've thought about suicide many times in varying degrees of seriousness).

Before you take these, have you tried regular exercise, changing your diet, meditation, and some controlled* fasting?

*The Greek Orthodox monks that live on Mount Athos eat only 6 days out of 7. I've tried this before, and I must say you do feel fucking awesome in so doing. I feel that no small part of the developed world's mental health issues, such as depression, find much of their root in the way we consume food; and all the shit that is in modern food.

I would totally recommend trying the above before trying medication. In particular, regular exercise. Can't beat the serotonin and dopamine you get from regular running/cycling.

Posted: **Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:00 pm**

Absolutely, I am a huge supporter of the exercise helping mood argument. It helps me so much, everything seems more balanced and calmer after exercise.

Posted: **Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:27 pm**

Guido wrote:I was prescribed this anti-depressant today. Anyone here that uses it? Experiences?

I'm a little reluctant to start using psychiatric medication in general due to possibly dangerous side-effects and anti-depressants specifically because it's well known that they might increase suicide ideation (the past year(s) I've thought about suicide many times in varying degrees of seriousness).

SSRI's complicate a number of things, the prominent not even the suicide thing.

Suicide ideation is not really a big deal. It's not like an increase the probability that you'll kill yourself, it's just the thought of killing yourself will appear a lot more often (and then you can just ignore it like other thoughts).

The biggest things you have to worry about are sexual side affects. For instance, both myself and a friend suffered from severe loss of libido during the time we took these medications, and inevitably SSRI's rendered my friend impotent for a number of years. Cymbalta is notorious as being one of the biggest offenders in this category.

They also tend to flatten the mood, controlling the lows of depression but abridging the highs. For me, it was difficult to perceive humor at that point in time. Wrap all that up with the horrible withdrawl symptoms that occur when you try to quit them, I just wouldn't recommend them at all.

I would suggest you talk to your doctor instead about an NDRI such as Bupropion. I have had really great results with it. Not only do dopamine-based atypical anti-depressants bear none of the sexual side effects that constitute most SSRI's, they don't tend to flatten the mood either and suicidal ideation is very rarely increased. The reason doctors tend to avoid prescribing them is usually do to the higher chance of seizure, but unless you've got a low seizure threshold to begin with you'd have literally nothing to worry about. For me it's been everything positive that SSRI's had without the negatives, and if you're worried about the potential negatives this would probably be your best bet. Or if you live somewhere where it's legal, you could ask your doctor about medical marijuana, which also has no negative side effects if used appropriately.

Whatever you do, I'd say still try and avoid SSRI's.

Posted: **Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:56 pm**

For whatever it's worth anecdotally, I've been on Prozac for about a year and I've not experienced any increase in suicide ideation and no flattening of my moods. I've just been less depressed. I can't really speak to the libido thing because of my hormone therapy. When you're on radical doses of testosterone-blockers and estrogen, your libido is going to change in ways SSRI's could never make it anyway.

____twoism

Depression