____twoism

When it comes to the existential stuff, as well the as really technical/cerebral stuff , you’re at the top of the list. You’re one of the few people who keep me coming back here. I wish you the best.

Apparently the odds of being born and being alive in a human body are 1 in 10^2,685,001

To type that number out it would consist of almost 3 million digits

We've all won the most ridiculously impossible lottery ever

Ain't that somethin?

Just wanna say for the record: Negamuse, you don't post as much as you should; they seem to always be worth the read.

The potential for this illness exists in all people and, under the right circumstances, any man or woman would be driven, like him, to "the other side".The "other side" perhaps may not be the best way to phrase it. After all, there is no wall between here and there. It lies on the borders where reality and unreality intersect. It is a place both close and distant. Some say it isn't even an illness. I cannot agree with them. I'm a doctor, not a philosopher or even a psychiatrist. But sometimes I have to ask myself this question. It's true that to us his imaginings are nothing but the inventions of a busy mind. But to him, there simply is no other reality. Furthermore he is happy there. So why, I ask myself, why in the name of healing him must we drag him painfully into the world of our own reality?

its hard not being depressed these days.

Oh yeah, today's Valentine's day...
I never saw the original B&tB so I echo Beast's dialogue in this scene:

Let's say for instance one has incurable depression, Would self medicating with serious drugs be justified to bring relief? Also, Would the chance of an accidental overdose bring comfort to someone who is too afraid to self delete?

So I would say that incurable depression can be at least partially cured, without the need for self-deletion. And yes, using a drug can be justified to bring relief because the depressive state is already a function of brain chemistry typically influenced by other factors such as living an unnatural way of life.

There is only one drug that I am aware of that is capable of curing the seemingly incurable, and that is specifically the psilocybin mushroom. Especially when approached in the right way it's incredibly healthy for human beings. That is the right mindset, the right setting, and the right dosage.

This is not the only way. It can be done without any 'drugs' per se, but it would be by far the fastest means to at least partially cure the incurable.

Either way, it's worth persevering, because life has its ups and downs and more often than not there is light at the end of the tunnel. For those that do persevere they are often grateful and glad they did so.

It's over

NorthSaturnian wrote:It's over

it's not, friend. it can certainly feel like it but if there is one thing I can promise is that it is not over.

Frindia wrote:

NorthSaturnian wrote:It's over

it's not, friend. it can certainly feel like it but if there is one thing I can promise is that it is not over.

give you strength

It's been a really long time since I had a bout of post-concert depression, but I saw NIN last night and it's hitting pretty hard today. I've seen them four times, but last night was such a level of excellence that the entire night felt like ten minutes.

I have a lot of deadlines with work and some contractual music projects coming up, so seeing a show so immaculate versus sitting at my little LaunchKey is what I think is throwing me off.

2020k wrote:It's been a really long time since I had a bout of post-concert depression, but I saw NIN last night and it's hitting pretty hard today. I've seen them four times, but last night was such a level of excellence that the entire night felt like ten minutes.

I have a lot of deadlines with work and some contractual music projects coming up, so seeing a show so immaculate versus sitting at my little LaunchKey is what I think is throwing me off.

I'm going on the 16th in Phoenix. What was your setlist like?

Jonse, my NIN setlist was pretty run of the mill. It was this. Boys Noize messed something up, Trent shot him a look, and we didn't get The Tron Song™. To make you jealous, though, I saw them in Cleveland a few years ago and didn't know that it was the Rock Hall of Fame show. This was that setlist. I got goosebumps when it didn't end on Hurt.

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I don't know where to put this, so I am going to put it here. Early last month I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had a surgery to remove it. I'm recovering very well, am in remission, and will be monitored for a couple of years with scans. The pathology wasn't perfect but was told that there's a greater chance of it not coming back, and if it does, it's treatable.

That said, this scared the living shit out of me.

A few of you know I had a concussion that took over two years to heal from in the mid-2010's. It was during that time that I was made an admin here, which gave me something to do and I am forever grateful for that. This new situation, though, made me take my first good, hard look at the reality of mortality and it's been incredibly difficult to process. Last night I had a nightmare that I was actively dying in Grandmother's house, screaming my head off, frantically trying to fill out a will to make sure my fiancé was able to inherent everything. Wild. Stuff.

Of all the stupid, fucking ridiculous things that went through my head in the thick of last month, I kept wondering if I'd see a new BOC project. I'm such a music lover though, that a few days after the surgery I clawed my way into an accessible seat to see Garbage perform on their farewell tour and saw Lorde the day my doctor told me I was in remission. I put all creative and freelance music projects on hold for a little bit, but my day jobs are in audio so I've continued to keep busy with things that keep me passionate and have a great IRL support system.

That said, if anyone's gone through something similar I'd love to talk.

I forget who helped me through the concussion, but a few of you private messaged me and said wonderful things. DMs are open if you don't want to post publicly and I'm on Discord if you're more of a chat-chat person.

Sun is going down, time is running out
No one else around but me
Steady losing light, steady losing my mind
Moving shadows and grinding teeth, ooh
Without you, there ain't no place for me to hide
Without you, there's no way I can sleep tonight
What I'd do for a little bit of peace and quiet
Without you, I keep
Slippin' into bad dreams
Where there's no you in I
No sound when I cry
I love you and I need you to set me free
From all of these bad dreams (bad dreams)
Waiting on the other side
No sound when I cry
I love you and I need you to set me free
From all of these, all of these
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Bad dreams
Ooh-ooh-ooh
All of these
Baby, please come around, help me settle down
Hellish habits can cloud my head (ooh-ooh)
What you waiting for? Something physical
I can't do this by myself
Without you, there ain't no place for me to hide
Without you, there's no way I can sleep tonight
What I'd do for a little bit of peace and quiet
Without you, I keep
Slippin' into bad dreams
Where there's no you in I
No sound when I cry
I love you and I need you to set me free (to set me free)
From all of these (all of these)
Bad dreams waiting on the other side
No sound when I cry
I love you and I need you to set me free (set me free)
From all of these, all of these
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Bad dreams
Baby, please
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
All of these (baby, please), all of these
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Autumn is a tough time for me slowly seeing all the leafs dying and when everything is grey and wet. But I'll maaaake iiiit throuuuugh, follow mueehh, trust me and we will escape from the citueeeyyy. Thanks sonic, for always helping me through the dark days.

INSIDE – The Farm / City: Wild Pig Cart Puzzle, Mind Control Helmet Manipulate Zombies Gameplay

Cupz wrote:Autumn is a tough time for me slowly seeing all the leafs dying and when everything is grey and wet. But I'll maaaake iiiit throuuuugh, follow mueehh, trust me and we will escape from the citueeeyyy. Thanks sonic, for always helping me through the dark days.

Dry autumn is my favourite season, somehow. Wet autumn I find difficult too. Squirrels and crows help. Watch them in the park, doing their thing, they know what's going on. I never come away from an encounter with one of them feeling worse.

In other news, I have come off antidepressants. First started at 19, stayed on them most of my life, came off for the first time 2018. Back on 2020, big mental health crisis then. Now off them again hopefully for good.

Nice! Congrats on finding the peace and clarity in your life that you feel like you might not need the extra help from anti-depressants. But don't feel bad if you need them again later, that's not failure (but let's hope you don't anyway!). Slowly phasing out those chemicals is hard, tiring work, I know from experience, so sleep well and eat your damn veggies!