____twoism

Excuse me if this thread has already been created, but I learned I'm gonna be a daddy so, you know, wondering if there are any other fathers out there and wondering what advice they might have!

Thanks!

Cheers!

There are increasingly quite a few of us, so welcome!

My main advice would be by all means do lots of reading and talking to people and asking for advice - that's well worth doing. But, to sound like Obi Wan Kenobi for a second, trust your instincts! You'll get a lot of conflicting advice, even from health professionals and midwives, both before and after the birth. Invariably though, you'll know which is the right path so trust yourself.

Be prepared for the birth to be a little overwhelming, not to mention scary. You'll think you know what to expect, but once it's you in that room, with your partner screaming the room down and midwives getting uptight, it can all look very different. Keep busy, time contractions, whatever - you're going to feel like a spare part and bypassed a lot of the time, so find a way to keep involved and helpful.

Naturally, get all the sleep you want in now because you'll be well and truly in the debit column for some time to come

And in case you doubt it for a second, it's all totally worth it! Truly the best thing in the World, so enjoy too

Good luck!

Congrats to you both!

I'm a father of a fantastic 4 years old son.

Like Mex said, try to hear as much as possible opinions. Sometimes a small hint by someone could solve huge issues.
My only advice is to be in line with your wife regarding the upbringing rules. Talk it over on how you think about certain issues.
Also, each period has its own charm whether it'll be bad or good. Enjoy every period before it's over! The past 4 years have been on high-speed for me.

Congratulations! Fatherhood is absolutely wonderful. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever done ? mentally, emotionally and (for my rapidly aging bones) physically. I finish every day with zero spare time, physically exhausted, there are always 20 things to do and 30 things to worry about. But it is absolutely wonderful. Your life will change immeasurably ? you?ll find yourself with more responsibility than you can imagine (ie being responsible for the physical, emotional and mental wellbeing and development of another human being) while at the same time being required to act like a big kid, making up silly songs about monkeys and pirates in public. You?ll experience love like never before ? total, absolute unconditional love for a small person who at first doesn?t even know who you are. You?ll probably find becoming a parent shifts your perspectives on a lot of things; it makes you realise what is really important. One thing that definitely won?t happen is that you won?t find yourself welling up at a bedtime story being read on Cbeebies. That will absolutely never, ever happen at any point in time. Ever. Not once?. As far as advice goes, I think Mexicola has pretty much nailed it. Pre-baby, your job is to look out for your other half ? not only in the obvious ways (making dinner, being available for tea-making at all times, doing EVERYTHING physically), but to act as a filter for her. Everyone will bombard her with advice and stories and ?help? ? some of which will be helpful, some of which will terrify her (some people genuinely seem to relish telling expectant first time parents absolute horror stories that make giving birth sound like the Somme) ? your job is to filter out the nonsense and reassure her that everything will be alright. Which it will be ? birth and labour isn?t a laugh a minute and is difficult and draining. But you?ll get through it ? ignore the horror stories. As Mexicola says, you?ll get lots of advice, but when it comes down to it, this baby will be your baby and you and your partner will be the best judges of what does and doesn?t work for your family. You can read as much as you like and hear all the stories and go to all the classes, but there will be points during the process where you stop and think ?no one told us about THAT!? (at this point, all the Twoism Dads will read that last sentence and be nodding our heads in agreement. And we?ll all be thinking of different things). Do bear in mind that your other half?s hormones will be going crackers. Her absurd demands are not absurd ? just agree go with what she wants. And any offensive names she calls you for the next two years should be taken with a pinch of salt. You?ll love it. We liked it so much we?re doing it all again?. PS ? excuse the long, rambling post; the issue of fatherhood and family is at the foremost of my mind at the moment as I have spent the weekend in hospital with my own little one who was floored by a virus, so this post was mentally written watching him sleep while attached to a drip in a hospital cot. And Maxine Peake?s reading of The Tiger Who Came to Tea was very good indeed. Tough few days, but it really focusses your energy. He?s fine now.

My lovely eloquent post; butchered by a copy & paste nightmare....

Nicest.thread.ever.

Bumping.

Hoping all going well with iwishimademovies, natch.

Blatant proud Dad moment. My little girl had her 1st birthday party today (albeit three days early).
Thought I'd share some snaps. Extra points for spotting the BOC ref...

Aww very sweet! Looks like it was a beautiful day.

Just over two weeks to go, and I will have a new subject to photograph!
(That'll give the dog a break, who is the subject of nearly all of my portrait photos)

GH wrote:Just over two weeks to go, and I will have a new subject to photograph!
(That'll give the dog a break, who is the subject of nearly all of my portrait photos)

Ah! The last two weeks, I remember it well. Like a cross between limbo and sailing the doldrums.
Then - BOOM - it's done. Life changed.

Grasp these moments of peace and quiet. You may not see their like again for some time

Mexicola wrote:

GH wrote:Just over two weeks to go, and I will have a new subject to photograph!
(That'll give the dog a break, who is the subject of nearly all of my portrait photos)

Ah! The last two weeks, I remember it well. Like a cross between limbo and sailing the doldrums.
Then - BOOM - it's done. Life changed.

Grasp these moments of peace and quiet. You may not see their like again for some time

Doing my best, though it's hard to know how to grasp peace and quiet, and if you're doing it right.

That said, I've still so much to do, to ensure the new arrival approves of our house etc.

Mexicola wrote:Extra points for spotting the BOC ref...

Really cute child by the way

GH wrote:

Lol!


Mexicola, thats one cute kid. You must be a proud dude.

Exciting times, GH - just over 3 weeks here 'til Little_a_northern_soul2 arrives.

I'm currently in a frenzy of car seat fitting, cot-bed building, tiny clothes washing. On top of the frenzy that comes with already having a small person in the flat.

Crucially after this weekend, I'm off the booze and on "maternity-dash" QRA. the hospital bag is packed & ready....

I'd echo Mexicola's sentiment - get as much rest in as possible. Having kids is great, but the first few weeks are MENTAL. Make the most of simple pleasures now like reading a paper, or being able to finish a cup of tea....

Holy crap, she's 1, Mexicola? It seems like you just became a father yesterday! D'awww.

@2020K - she's 1 tomorrow, but we got in earlier with her party

@GH

@Cupz - cheers! and yeah, she's the apple of my eye

Nobody got the BOC reference yet. Interesting. It's way more obvious than you think.

Mexicola wrote:@2020K - she's 1 tomorrow, but we got in earlier with her party

@GH

@Cupz - cheers! and yeah, she's the apple of my eye

Nobody got the BOC reference yet. Interesting. It's way more obvious than you think.

You're in a beautiful place out in the country.

(either that or a park, I have no idea)

Or maybe it's the fact that there's six dots on the one circle on the cake and it also looks like the 0 in a 10 when you factor in the 1? Sixtyten? Probably reading too deep into the apparently obvious reference, but I'm not sure I see it.

Rodheh wrote:

Mexicola wrote:@2020K - she's 1 tomorrow, but we got in earlier with her party

@GH

@Cupz - cheers! and yeah, she's the apple of my eye

Nobody got the BOC reference yet. Interesting. It's way more obvious than you think.

You're in a beautiful place out in the country.

(either that or a park, I have no idea)

Or maybe it's the fact that there's six dots on the one circle on the cake and it also looks like the 0 in a 10 when you factor in the 1? Sixtyten? Probably reading too deep into the apparently obvious reference, but I'm not sure I see it.

Good guess, but no.

You're all overthinking this way too much. Check my T-Shirt...

Ustillhavefriends wrote:

Mexicola wrote: Nobody got the BOC reference yet. Interesting. It's way more obvious than you think.

is that shirt a mhtrtc shirt?

Ping! We have a winner.

It really wasn't meant to be that difficult!!