____twoism

I am lucky in the sense that I am twenty one and have parents willing to let me stay until I can find a steady job (steadier than the one I recently had to resign from) and move out, but as they are around retirement age they like to go on relatively inexpensive trips to stay with friends in europe a few times a year and for as long as a month sometimes and I find myself almost completely isolated which is a new feeling for me and due to recent events me and my partner are spending some time apart so that adds in another factor of loneliness for me. I know and know of people who have lived alone happily for decades and I start to wonder how they are capable of it, maybe I am just not that kind of person. Do any other boccers wish to share feelings on this? I would be interested to know.

I've lived alone for about 5 years and I absolutely loved it. I've always had a somewhat of busy social life, due to Basketball, work, and friends who I saw twice a weekend. When I did have some time at home I played games, watched series, movies, or just went to friends again. I think it's possible to get lonely, but if you search for some hobbies to pick up, the time you have alone at home will feel like a blessing. Guess the loneliness just depends of how much you make of the time, if you're sitting at home 7 days a week I guess loneliness can kick in pretty easily, just look for things to do!

I have pretty much the same situation as you, Valotonin, except my parents still work and are leaving for job-related traveling this week. Loneliness is something that's always been a part of my life, so I've been reading a book called The Tartar Steppe by Dino Buzzati, which is about a man living his life in a very isolated military fort where nothing ever happens. It's like the book was written about me.

I don't love to "feel alone", but I love to feel isolated and silenced of my mind from social matters, societal stressors, all of that... when it's just me and mother earth everything has a huge synergy. All is focused on what is, then and now, and you can feel it all, and I enjoy my attention being treated this way rather than by perpetual, petty distraction. So I hear you in one way or another.

I agree with portiss.

Other then going into town every once in a while to meet new people, what helped me through alone time was working hard on creative endevours. I found watching movies/shows, playing games, reading internet regularly really amplify lonelyness if that was all I was doing.

Cupz wrote:Other then going into town every once in a while to meet new people, what helped me through alone time was working hard on creative endevours.

This is really, really true. The absolute best way to get over loneliness is to devote all your time and energy to something productive, even if it won't accomplish much. Just having something to work on is a great way to feel like you have a purpose.

I found watching movies/shows, playing games, reading internet regularly really amplify lonelyness if that was all I was doing.

I find it to be OK as long as you have a variety of entertainment sources instead of just doing one single activity for hours on end. Watching political commentary on YouTube is a surprisingly effective form of escapism, too.

Cheers for the responses and the advice, guys (-:
I have, due to recent events and the fact I have an ailment or two that I am scared could turn in to something nasty, a constant fear of death recently. It comes and goes every few years for me but this is probably the worst it ever has been, panic attacks crying and calling the gp on a much too regular basis (I fear they might tell me to stop soon). It is really amplified by being alone at the moment and knowing that it is irrational doesn't stop it happening. Sorry to burden the internet with this shit.

On a brighter note, I just turned 500 !!

Not far to go until I catch up with Cupz now

Have you been to a therapist or something along the likes of a therapist with those thoughts? Not saying you really need 1 or something, but they can help you give those thoughts a place. Plus you'll have something to get out of the house for

Just reading up about stuff like this might help as well. The power of now by Eckhart Tolle really helped me to make certain thoughts dissapear, or at least, give them a proper place.

that's why I value other people so much, not because I enjoy company, but talking to a person I can truly connect with - not solely like a romantic relationship - makes me feel like I don't need a psychiatrist.

but I'm still gonna go to one. You know what I mean though.

Valotonin wrote:Cheers for the responses and the advice, guys (-:
I have, due to recent events and the fact I have an ailment or two that I am scared could turn in to something nasty, a constant fear of death recently. It comes and goes every few years for me but this is probably the worst it ever has been, panic attacks crying and calling the gp on a much too regular basis (I fear they might tell me to stop soon). It is really amplified by being alone at the moment and knowing that it is irrational doesn't stop it happening. Sorry to burden the internet with this shit.

No reason to feel sorry dude, I think that they probably will have support groups for this kind of thing on the internet, if that is what you're looking for. It always helps to talk to people, even if it is over the internet.

Find stuff that you like doing, it has already been mentioned here, get out and find new hobbies! I recently started living on my own too, I find that if I actually keep up with chores(dishes, laundry, cleaning) it puts me in a better mental state, cause I can process the day and my emotions doing mundane tasks. After that it is relaxing mode for me, either hang out with friends or just watch some TV or play some games.

Hope this helps dude, although you've probably gotten this advice already.

Valotonin wrote:Cheers for the responses and the advice, guys (-:
I have, due to recent events and the fact I have an ailment or two that I am scared could turn in to something nasty, a constant fear of death recently. It comes and goes every few years for me but this is probably the worst it ever has been, panic attacks crying and calling the gp on a much too regular basis (I fear they might tell me to stop soon). It is really amplified by being alone at the moment and knowing that it is irrational doesn't stop it happening. Sorry to burden the internet with this shit.

I know what that's like. Hypochondria is an easy anxiety to develop when you're spending a lot of time alone. Just try to remember that there's pretty much nothing you can go through medically that hasn't been identified before and hasn't been experienced by many others before you. Medical problems are things that everyone experiences and you aren't alone in that. The human body is also a lot more durable and adaptable than it seems.

Or for better or worse,existential anxiety. Many many battles with that one. But in found ways of adapting. Over years of discipline. If you ever wanna talk about this stuff hit me up buddy (C4Dspener for Skype)

I used to be afraid things were physically wrong with me, or the fear there might be cancer growing somewhere, or that I could have a heart attack. I know exactly what you're going through and it's not pleasant. I stopped caring when I stopped fearing death. Try not to fear death as much! If I find out I've been sitting on a terminal illness all this time without knowing and now I'll most certainly die so be it, same if I get hit by a truck driven by an idiot. At least I'm not spending my valuable living-time worrying about death. Everybody dies. That doesn't mean I don't look left and right before I cross the street, mind you.

Jesus christ the ammount of empathy you people have.

Thank you thank you for every word of reassurance.

Yes, Jesus Christ had a lot of empathy too.

It's nothing though, we just love you, valotonin!

I've lived by myself (with my cat) for 7 years. I love it. Not lonely, I just like being alone.

I've been living on my own for about 3 years now. It'd be easier if my roommates would shut the hell up for once.

i wish i had the cash to do it now. staying at my parents house forever is my worst nightmare

When you live alone, no one can stop you from eating a Dorito Sandwich™.