I really appreciate you sharing your trip. The description was tremendous. Paranoia is something I find interesting. It's such a strong feeling but it seems that it often takes drugs of one type or another to really unleash the full force of this emotion, often for the first time.
Some speculate that the emotion developed in our earliest ancestors. Non-human creatures. Our genetic forefathers who were hunted and NEEDED this emotion in order to survive. Either way, I've had some experience of paranoid emotions and they are incredibly disorienting and draining. I've mastered them now but for years I was dogged with panic attacks and endless anxiety states. I've read of people having attacks that lasted maybe several minutes but mine often lasted for hours. The feeling of dread and isolation used to be overwhelming.
They started when I was 16. I used to think I was going insane (seriously). For years I was convinced of this because I knew my brain had undergone a radical change but couldn't explain why. Some of us have a genetic predisposition to paranoid emotions, there's very little one can do about it initially. But, as the old saying goes, time is a great healer. Years of self-analysis, research, occasional psychotherapy and understanding friends can strengthen ones resolve to get better.
Life is a strange thing indeed.
Anyway, I'm glad you're ok.
Bye for now, kozmikoid.
