Since the last album was released, I..

Shadowshocker · Post by **Shadowshocker** » Wed May 05, 2010 4:19 am

discovered drugs
discovered good music
discovered art

discovered the combination of all three is what i like most about life

BunnyRabbit · Post by **BunnyRabbit** » Wed May 05, 2010 9:46 am

I went from early thirties to mid thirties.
I visited three new continents (new to me anyway).
Moved house.
Got two promotions.
Gave up DJ'ing regularly.
Did some stuff I don't want to talk about.

And I haven't finished my album either. But then again, I have a full time job. That's my excuse anyway.

Synthetrix · Post by **Synthetrix** » Thu May 06, 2010 9:17 am

Got married
Released 2 Synthetrix albums
Changed jobs
Adopted a dog

Skytree · Post by **Skytree** » Thu May 06, 2010 4:01 pm

Hmm...in the last five years I dropped out of college, moved onto an organic farm, split up with my girlfriend, moved off the farm and worked for the state park system, got laid off, did mushrooms for the first time, quit smoking pot, started a full-time job in a cubicle, met a new girl, moved into our first home together, put out an EP and an album, got into yoga, started college again, started smoking pot again, went on lots of trips abroad and at home, played lots of shows, met a shitload of new people (many of whom are now close friends), received airplay on the radio from my favorite DJ, got engaged, got my first material pressed on vinyl, was completely torn apart when my mom and little brother unexpectedly died within a month of each other, got dis-engaged, moved out and split with my fiance, moved in with my dad, quit my job, underwent a profound spiritual shift after having lost what seemed like everything, started smoking tobacco, stopped smoking tobacco...in the process of putting out a new album and finally finishing college in the aftermath of this incredibly intense mid-20's adventure.

Waterbagel · Post by **Waterbagel** » Fri May 07, 2010 4:07 am

realized girls aren't icky (jesus, it has been a while).

powershoes · Post by **powershoes** » Fri May 07, 2010 6:35 pm

hmm... since then:

felt lost and alone in isolation, disconnected from nearly every high school friend, conquered final fantasy iv and v with my best friend when snowed in for a week (mostly while tripping on dxm), tried codeine for the first time, battled with a heavy/habitual use of dxm, binged on methylphenidate for six months, met my current and longtime love and became an alcoholic, began cleaning up my act drug-wise, yearned for artistic freedom, began my first real job, became pollotarian, had trouble with severe and debilitating social anxiety, became a raging alcoholic, picked up the drums after a three year hiatus and joined a terrible drug-ridden psychedelic band, became discouraged and gave up drums again, thrown good money after bad (countless major sunk costs) and have been in thousands of dollars of debt since 2008, read every neil peart book and got the travel and motorcycling bug (even though i've travelled very little), released a self-titled lp, quit drinking entirely, quit smoking for two years, quit caffeine, sugar, salt and fats, rode a bicycle on my first intense acid trip, also experienced a swirling ufo at sunrise with the group of people i was tripping with, picked up the drums again, got my driver's license at 23, bought a ludwig maple classic drum set and haven't looked back since, became pescotarian, experienced lust with three short affairs, bid my best friend farewell to las vegas, picked up smoking again, learned the whispers of the wind and the life force of plants and animals, adopted two lovely and quite chubby guinea pigs, wondered if i'll ever leave my hometown, always wanted to cut all ties and see where adventure takes me yet too afraid, wondered if i'll ever find success as a drummer, have always been lost in a vicious cycle of questions and answers, joined a professionally run (yet failing and monetarily draining) rock group, reconnected with my father's side of the family after losing my grandfather, was fired from my job and have been in a spiritual and existential crisis since october 2009.

now, i'm faced with giving up my dreams entirely, somehow finding a healthy balance of reality and creativity, or leaving my past and everyone behind to find my dreams. this decision is dire, and will determine the entire course of my existence as a musician forever.

i've always wondered how people 'get on'. most of the time, it seems that settling for what's practical and safe is the only socially accepted form of living. everyone grows up, eventually. or, so i'm told. there's a difference between wishes and dreams, fantasy and vision. why does society view creativity as a pipedream? everyone has a skill that they're meant to use, honing and refining it, giving back to the earth what creations one constructs. isn't it more important to follow your calling? perhaps, it's the jaded viewpoint of those who've abandoned their dreams which impinges on the possibilities of others.

mind, body or possibilities, age is simply a fence.

sorry for rambling on. i really need to decide something, soon. the past is a tunnel to the present.

softfokus · Post by **softfokus** » Fri May 07, 2010 7:04 pm

let's see.

i moved from milwaukee to austin.
i sort of had a drug induced nervous breakdown. seriously, don't smoke the brown weed.
after getting into campfire headphase i started opening up my musical taste a lot more from what was mostly just 60s garage stuff.
went from being a guitarist for ten years to almost exclusively playing synths. learned how to properly program a roland alpha juno.
entered the longest relationship i've been in yet, moved in with the girl, then broke up with the girl, and then moved out.
had some ill-advised but fun flings.
saw some amazing music at the most recent sxsw including washed out, neon indian (underwhelming), flying lotus (amazing) and will end up seeing lcd soundsystem unless the new album comes out in the next month.
started a music project with my friend mike, which is probably the best stuff i've done in years or ever.
bought a moog rogue.

i think that covers the important stuff.

Joebot Kill · Post by **Joebot Kill** » Fri May 07, 2010 8:41 pm

great thread idea. when TCH came out i was a freshman in college. Lets see... i quit world of warcraft, started smoking weed regularly, learned the joys of psychadelics, grew my hair really long, got WAY into BoC, joined twoism, got WAY into the IDM, cut my hair, broke up with girlfriend of four years, started dating my best friend, got into collecting vinyl, graduated from college with a degree in illustration, moved back in with parents, broke up with second girlfriend, developed social anxiety, burned/rebuilt many bridges, started working professionally as a designer/illustrator, got a job at an indie art supply store, met lots of new people, rediscovered old favorite music, started a band (looks realistic), started a cassette tape label (called moss archive... more news on this soon!)

Skytree · Post by **Skytree** » Fri May 07, 2010 8:59 pm

I'm amazed at the number of parallels in a lot of our stories so far. Social anxiety, drug experimentation, weird adventures, musical shifts, love gained and lost...kinda want to give everyone here a hug.

P.S. Look forward to hearing more about your tape label, Joebot. (:

jakestott · Post by **jakestott** » Fri May 07, 2010 9:24 pm

Joebot Kill, do you still suffer with Social Anxiety? It's cool to know i'm not the only one on here that has to deal with it

Joebot Kill · Post by **Joebot Kill** » Sat May 08, 2010 5:34 am

Skytree wrote:I'm amazed at the number of parallels in a lot of our stories so far. Social anxiety, drug experimentation, weird adventures, musical shifts, love gained and lost...kinda want to give everyone here a hug.

P.S. Look forward to hearing more about your tape label, Joebot. (:

yeah i gotta make a proper announcement soon! something neat coming this summer!

the social anxiety thing is something i'm trying to get control of. i realized that i've sort of slipped into a rut, socially. might be too much weed, too much drone music, too much internet porn.

this whole lifesyle. I told myself I'd cut back on the weed... But I still find myself smoking every day...

after moving back home and basically saying "fuck you" to almost everyone i went to school with, i found myself pretty-much alone in my home town. luckily able to reconnect with a few old friends. i remember who my real friends are! still living at home is weird too. i feel like a kid again. ive been getting back into all my old stuff. playing lots of sonic 2. but anyway. the anxiety's all in your head. and its all about being comfortable with yourself. listening to music with lyrics helps too. and waking up to the radio instead of a buzzer. also eating less meat and more raw vegies.

Skytree · Post by **Skytree** » Sat May 08, 2010 2:59 pm

Cool man! Keep us posted.

Definitely sounds like you're in a similar spot these days...living back at home, not having many people around, trying to cut down your weed intake...all things I'm struggling with at the moment.

I moved back home so my dad and I could take care of each other...my mom and brother committed suicide just a few months ago, and my fiancee left me at the same time. I thought I'd ditched the social anxiety issue for good, but not having her around on a daily basis really has been tough to adjust to (we'd been together for 4 years), so processing these issues on my own (dad aside - he's awesome) is a fucking immense task.

I'm back in my hometown now, too...a majority of my old friends have moved away, and there are just a handful of people my age around here. It's weird basically being taken care of, after having been completely independent for a long time. Totally feel like a kid, like you said, but in an empty town. Nothing to do around here, other than wander the woods solo...spent Friday night programming a synth, and that's about it. Much easier to smoke weed with so few responsibilities or things to do, hence having more of a problem recently...basically, I've cut it down to smoking in the evening so I don't lose all my energy, but it's still every day, which is probably too much...

Anyhow, life is weird. This has been the hardest time of my life, bar none, but I'm hopeful things will get better. Just have to be patient...

powershoes · Post by **powershoes** » Sat May 08, 2010 3:41 pm

Joebot Kill wrote:playing lots of sonic 2.

Infinite E · Post by **Infinite E** » Sat May 08, 2010 5:07 pm

Skytree wrote:Definitely sounds like you're in a similar spot these days...living back at home, not having many people around, trying to cut down your weed intake...all things I'm struggling with at the moment.

it's pretty ridiculous, this parallels my situation near perfectly too

small town life, almost all my friends, acquaintances, contemporaries no longer here

can't afford to smoke every day but if i could i would... every single time i get the cash together it's off on my ten-mile bus journey to buy weed... i think because it helps me feel engrossed with what's at hand- music, woodwork, computer games. meanwhile i've re-started my old nicotine habit.

Infinite E wrote:So. last year I got kicked out of university due to a debt of around £3,000, something I can't come close to paying off as I've had to move back into my parents and can't find work- to be completely honest I've stopped looking pretty much altogether as this is middle-of-nowhere and there is fuck all to be had. There's not really anything to be gained by looking but still it makes me feel bad not doing anything to better my situation.

In the past month, one childhood friend with whom ive not been in touch for a couple of years died from a drug overdose (he was 21), and another closer friend has gone to jail. Yesterday my girlfriend (we got together when i was at university and have since had to go long distance, i miss her) got her entire student overdraft recalled by the bank at once. I had been hoping to get a flat with her soon and that now looks like it might not be an option any more. Relationships with my parents are pretty strained, nobody's fault really just a result of an undesirable situation. Of the younger folk who are left in my small hometown, they are nice enough guys but I have nothing in common with them at all. Into boxing and trance music and coke, not my thing at all. Most days I spend on my own.

I'm starting to get really, really fucked off with this. I try to stay upbeat but my current lifestyle is a total grind and is making me develop all kinds of bad habits, destroyed my social life and straining my closest relationships.

sorry for the complaining tone of this post. I'm just done with this.

that's pretty much my situation still

Joebot Kill · Post by **Joebot Kill** » Sun May 09, 2010 2:03 pm

honestly, i feel like a bit of a cry-baby when i read some of these posts. a lot of you guys have been through some intense shit. i went to college and had girl problems, wah wah. hopefully you guys are keeping your heads above water. life is a ride, we should do what we can to enjoy it while we're here. skytree, thats so sad about your mom and brother. whats with your fiance? leaving you at a time like that? keep channeling all this into more great music.

life. what a trip.

s7409651 · Post by **s7409651** » Sun May 09, 2010 2:27 pm

i also feel like people on this forum have been through and seen a lot. Which makes for very, very interesting people.

saurus · Post by **saurus** » Sun May 09, 2010 8:11 pm

Joebot Kill wrote: i went to college and had girl problems, wah wah.

Haha, yeah me too pretty much. You think things like that deeply shift your surroundings and shape your life differently then you just look at what your friends are going through and it puts it all in perspective

Skytree · Post by **Skytree** » Mon May 10, 2010 2:43 pm

Infinite E wrote:
Skytree wrote:Definitely sounds like you're in a similar spot these days...living back at home, not having many people around, trying to cut down your weed intake...all things I'm struggling with at the moment.
it's pretty ridiculous, this parallels my situation near perfectly too

Man, best of luck with everything...sounds like life's taken you for a ride recently as well. Glad you're staying upbeat...it'll pay off in time.

On my end, a bunch of friends came up for the weekend, so I've pretty much been running around from one party/hike/meetup/etc after another for the last 72 hours...it's been awesome. Reaffirmation that I just need to be patient...everything moves in cycles.

Joebot Kill wrote:life is a ride, we should do what we can to enjoy it while we're here. skytree, thats so sad about your mom and brother. whats with your fiance? leaving you at a time like that? keep channeling all this into more great music.

life. what a trip.

Well said man. I still don't get what went down with my ex, but it was her call to make. She literally left me the day we went to see my brother's body...she was the only person outside of immediate family to come as well, since my fam basically considered her my partner at that point. She had a lot of issues though...obviously dealing with some shit that she didn't let out before. Fortunately, I don't need to understand it...just let her go, cut contact, and try to move towards forgiveness, so I don't keep any negative energy with me. I'll find someone else eventually. (:

Anyhow, making music is definitely part of the recovery process...been really active artistically these days, which is awesome.

s7409651 wrote:i also feel like people on this forum have been through and seen a lot. Which makes for very, very interesting people.

Exactly...lots of fellow travelers on here...not a coincidence, IMO.

Infinite E · Post by **Infinite E** » Mon May 10, 2010 7:53 pm

well said skytree. sincerely, all the best to you, and everyone else going through hard stuff in this thread. very glad to hear you're channeling your energy into something positive.

i love you guys

GrangalanJr · Post by **GrangalanJr** » Thu May 13, 2010 2:45 pm

First post...

Broke up with my girlfriend of two years. Dropped out of college and worked. Returned to college, then dropped out again. Moved into an apartment with a friend and a small-time drug dealer. Worked. Drank a lot and did some drugs, mostly psychedelics. Had a sort of long distance phone "relationship" with a woman I'd never met in person, nine years my senior. Moved out of the apartment, went back to college. Got back together with girlfriend. Finished college, finally, after six years. Moved halfway across the country with girlfriend after finishing college. Was really lonely in the new location. Drank a lot. Got bored of drinking, stopped, and haven't touched any alcohol or drugs at all in a few months. Found a job, got fired from the job after a few weeks. Found a new job. Still really lonely.

Went through lots of different hobbies and interests during this time, but music has been a constant. Discovering it, listening to it, talking about it, and making it help keep me going.

So, I am pretty much like lots of other people here, I suppose.