turquoise70 wrote:Today is Day 4 of total sobriety.
Day 1 here, part of a new attempt to quit drinking. Last time I tried was a 3 weeks ago when I managed to stay sober for 9 days. In 2008 I quit for a whole year, cost me a lot of energy and eventually I couldn't handle my fears and anxiety anymore. I remember when I drank beer for the first time again, just 4 little cans. I've never been that relaxed in my entire life, I had some slow, peaceful music on repeat, I just hung in my chair, no thoughts anymore, for half an hour. I've never tried heroin but it must be similar.
Hell no. Never do heroin. You feel like complete shit afterwards and the suffering isn't worth the brief, yet, extremely relaxing high. First time I did it my roommate convinced me the stuff he had was crushed up oxy. Needless to say, I did one line too many and chowdered the toilet in dismal purgery. I didn't find out until a year later it was horse. Still did it a couple times after that, completely not worth it. However oxy's are a completely different story
still sober. how the hell do you people do this day after day? do you all cry every night? i miss the escapism of alcohol and pot. i miss not feeling anything.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
sober because i had homework to do. It's funny how easily you can forget what lucidity and sobriety is like. It's almost a trip in itself. can't wait to see what kind of crazy dreams I'm going to have now that weed isn't there to disrupt my REM cycles.
I had a beer two nights ago, but other than that, still sober. That beer made me feel remarkably slow in the head, so I decided to keep on with the total sobriety kick. Roxor.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
Well after another huge bout of drunk-every-night that lasted several weeks, I'm finally trying to sober again. Today is day 3.
But alcohol aside, I have to gripe about pot for a while. It used to be a lot of fun, and now it's not nearly as much (I still like it when the situation is -just right- but most times it's just aggravating to me to be high). But now the main thing that bothers me is seeing OTHER people stoned.
I'll be hanging with my friends, and they'll all be wanting to get high before we go to this restaurant right? And I'm like oh great, they're gonna turn all slow and distant and not-here - which sometimes they do and sometimes they don't, it depends. So they start packing a bowl and to them it's like the only important thing in the world at the moment, or that's how it looks from where I'm sitting. I can't get an answer out of anyone when I'm trying to do something, even if it's help them with their computer somehow or another. So they pack the bowl and pack the bowl and finally it's done, then they have to see who gets greens, and finally they start passing the thing around. And everyone looks so zoned out and .... I don't know, sad, not like "god how pathetic" sad but maybe a milder form of that. They slow down and get that zombified look and cough and cough and cough and cough. This goes on for 10 or 15 minutes, then they pack a bong. God.
I'm starting to realize how irritating it is for people who don't smoke to have stoner friends. It's getting really really hard not to tell my friends, "You guys, it's starting to get really sad seeing you get stoned. It used to be fun, and I used to enjoy the whole ritual of us all passing a bowl around and enjoying stuff, but it seems like you're really reaching now, it feels like we should be trying to enjoy stuff just how it is without having to get high first. I feel totally disconnected from whatever you guys are enjoying when you're high, and to me it looks dumb and overrated, whatever you're feeling." I started to get this pervasive feeling back when I was smoking, it came on stronger and stronger for almost a year or so, where I'd get high and be out in a beautiful day and be like "Man, this is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm out here in this wonderful day, but man - I wish I could enjoy it this much without weed, I wish I could be this appreciative sober." And I don't know, maybe it's only me, but I started to think it was even better to try and be that way. Weed is just... it's a burden, it's a pain in my ass now.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
s7409651 wrote:^ man oh man, that really resonates with me.
I bet it does!
And turquoise, it sounds like you're being totally honest with yourself. That's good, man, in fact i can relate to some of it. I don't mind watching people get stoned, but i have found that the novelty has wore off for me.
I actually went out and got completely shitfaced a week ago tonight. Seriously, it was pretty intense and I was sleeping on a bench at one bit, or trying to anyway cos I spent all my cash. I like drinking when it's in check, but not when I'm doing it just to get completely blitzed. Go figure.
Anyway, s74, turquoise, everyone. I wanna group hug! group huuuuug!
I also lost about 15 kilograms since I quit. I also eat less and healthier, sport much more. Key to success in this respect is, I think, feeling better mentally. Since I've placed myself in a situation in which I feel much happier, it has proven also much easier to work on my physical health.
Borné dans sa nature, infini dans ses vœux, l'homme est un dieu tombé qui se souvient des cieux.
turquoise70 wrote:I started to get this pervasive feeling back when I was smoking, it came on stronger and stronger for almost a year or so, where I'd get high and be out in a beautiful day and be like "Man, this is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm out here in this wonderful day, but man - I wish I could enjoy it this much without weed, I wish I could be this appreciative sober."
I got that so much. This is my love-hate relationship with weed. It's so much fun and yet at the same time I can't help but feel lame about doing it.
I still think it's better than alcohol. And I don't think I'll quit, but rather, just have it be a VERY occasional indulgence, with friends. Because doing it so god damn much spoils it.
Damn I am so sober I need to buy some more dank. My friend has some acid; I don't have anyone to do it with. If I had an artsy willing girlfriend, we'd probably be tripping in my bed to some BoC. Working on the gf part. I've never done acid and have listened to every inch of BoC and AFX's discographies... must admit I'm curious. I want to trip to Girl/Boy Song
