tell me your fears

uf0party · Post by **uf0party** » Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:21 pm

i am fascinated by fear and hope you will share with me something (or many things) that seriously frighten you. i'm working on some very short films that deal with fear and i want to avoid only working with what i think is unsettling.

i am especially interested in irrational fears. if there's something that makes you really uncomfortable but you don't really know why, i would love to hear about it.

fujee · Post by **fujee** » Mon Apr 07, 2014 6:55 pm

The only one that springs to mind is deep open water. Something about the fact your exposed to anything in that body of water, but you have no idea what is there, if anything at all. However, when I went boating in France last year on this giant lake, I did without hesitation jump in and swim around.. but it only dawned on me later on how terrifying it was. Pretty sure I was gonna get taken under by some Kraken.

Can't say I have any irrational fear though..

Negamuse · Post by **Negamuse** » Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:59 pm

I have an unusual claustrophobia. I can be in small spaces, no problem. Lifts, for example, never bothered me though I know they trigger other friends of mine with claustrophobia. But if a space is taller than it's wide I get more and more triggered. There was an old water tower that was maybe as big as a small room across but the ceiling was massively high up (with just a spiral staircase going up the inside) that we discovered this in when I was a kid. Huge cathedral spaces no problem. Tiny rooms no problem. Tiny room with cathedral height, problem.

A friend of a friend of mine has the strangest phobia though. A fear of height. Not heights, height. She can be walking along in a field with land as far as the eye can see but if she's made aware (by a sign or an evil friend testing her out for kicks) of her height above sea level, it triggers her phobia.

Perch · Post by **Perch** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:39 am

I don't know about it being the worst, but I've always had this irrational fear of fungus. Either alive or dead, the kind of organic functions and living conditions of fungus have always struck me as incredibly alien. Perhaps if I knew more about it, but even the things I have studied just make them seem weirder and weirder. It could be because from a human perspective they relate heavily to decay and mass reproduction.

For instance, I can't watch this video without absolutely squirming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWSYawl0KjQ

naicob · Post by **naicob** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 3:43 am

Death. It's irrational, but I'm not looking forward to it at all.

As a Panic Disorder veteran, I can tell you this-- there is absolutely nothing worse than waking up in the morning completely overwhelmed by fear to the point of near paralysis and not having a single clue as to why you're feeling like this. Sometimes there are triggers-- a nervous situation, stress, or any strong emotional response. But more often than not, there is a state of horror and it is completely irrational because the fear cannot even be pinpointed. Once the cycle of fearing that irrational fear becomes common, you have what is called a panic disorder-- and you rationalize the anticipatory anxiety with experience, so in a sense it becomes rational in its irrationality. It messes with you to the point that any situation that makes you the tiniest bit nervous or excited can set off an avalanche of panic.

I always hated flying, it was definitely a legit phobia-- my biggest fear. It often prevented me from vacationing or seeing family, but when it came to it, I would man up and simply do it, even if the transatlantic flights scared the shit out of me. Today, my biggest fear isn't the plane crashing, it's having a panic attack on board, which is about 10x worse than any of the most fearful moments I'd ever experienced before this crap started happening to me.

Waterbagel · Post by **Waterbagel** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 3:57 am

Dying right now. There are many things I want to do on this pale blue dot, and I'm not quite ready to give in the towel just yet.

OverTheHorizonRadar · Post by **OverTheHorizonRadar** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 6:24 am

Compound eyes freak me the hell out. Though I imagine if you wrote a song about their tears it would be beautiful.

Techboy · Post by **Techboy** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:57 am

i'm usually very well balanced but i freak out in the presence of moths and crane flies D: the evil, utterly harmless, fuckers!

that and clothes labels, or paper being anywhere near food (like those little salt sachets, if i see someone sit an empty one on a plate I can't even look at it, gives me the dry boak - I have no idea why!)

North by North · Post by **North by North** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 2:50 pm

naicob wrote:Death. It's irrational, but I'm not looking forward to it at all.

As a Panic Disorder veteran, I can tell you this-- there is absolutely nothing worse than waking up in the morning completely overwhelmed by fear to the point of near paralysis and not having a single clue as to why you're feeling like this. Sometimes there are triggers-- a nervous situation, stress, or any strong emotional response. But more often than not, there is a state of horror and it is completely irrational because the fear cannot even be pinpointed. Once the cycle of fearing that irrational fear becomes common, you have what is called a panic disorder-- and you rationalize the anticipatory anxiety with experience, so in a sense it becomes rational in its irrationality. It messes with you to the point that any situation that makes you the tiniest bit nervous or excited can set off an avalanche of panic.

I always hated flying, it was definitely a legit phobia-- my biggest fear. It often prevented me from vacationing or seeing family, but when it came to it, I would man up and simply do it, even if the transatlantic flights scared the shit out of me. Today, my biggest fear isn't the plane crashing, it's having a panic attack on board, which is about 10x worse than any of the most fearful moments I'd ever experienced before this crap started happening to me.

^^

This, to the T, esp. the airplane panic attack. Had a very bad flight once and it was the first time flying that I felt so trapped and out of control of the situation. Became my number 1 fear after that. Just the thought of it makes me anxious beyond belief.

I don't have other panic attacks, but I also wake up overwhelmed by a sense that I can't really describe. Kind of like, ok is today the day I die in some dumb way. It triggers a gag reflex too.

Naicob- I believe we discussed sleep paralysis a while back, which I had non-stop for a long time, but not nearly as much now. So perhaps, that's a panic attack of sorts.

As for irrational, I'm afraid to be around any type of gas and flame, like even lighting a grill. I'm fine with fire, but if gas is involved I walk quickly in the opposite direction.

naicob · Post by **naicob** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 8:16 pm

North by North wrote:
naicob wrote:Death. It's irrational, but I'm not looking forward to it at all.

As a Panic Disorder veteran, I can tell you this-- there is absolutely nothing worse than waking up in the morning completely overwhelmed by fear to the point of near paralysis and not having a single clue as to why you're feeling like this. Sometimes there are triggers-- a nervous situation, stress, or any strong emotional response. But more often than not, there is a state of horror and it is completely irrational because the fear cannot even be pinpointed. Once the cycle of fearing that irrational fear becomes common, you have what is called a panic disorder-- and you rationalize the anticipatory anxiety with experience, so in a sense it becomes rational in its irrationality. It messes with you to the point that any situation that makes you the tiniest bit nervous or excited can set off an avalanche of panic.

I always hated flying, it was definitely a legit phobia-- my biggest fear. It often prevented me from vacationing or seeing family, but when it came to it, I would man up and simply do it, even if the transatlantic flights scared the shit out of me. Today, my biggest fear isn't the plane crashing, it's having a panic attack on board, which is about 10x worse than any of the most fearful moments I'd ever experienced before this crap started happening to me.
^^

This, to the T, esp. the airplane panic attack. Had a very bad flight once and it was the first time flying that I felt so trapped and out of control of the situation. Became my number 1 fear after that. Just the thought of it makes me anxious beyond belief.

I don't have other panic attacks, but I also wake up overwhelmed by a sense that I can't really describe. Kind of like, ok is today the day I die in some dumb way. It triggers a gag reflex too.

Naicob- I believe we discussed sleep paralysis a while back, which I had non-stop for a long time, but not nearly as much now. So perhaps, that's a panic attack of sorts.

As for irrational, I'm afraid to be around any type of gas and flame, like even lighting a grill. I'm fine with fire, but if gas is involved I walk quickly in the opposite direction.

Oh yeah, I don't get too much of the gag reflex unless the nausea is really bad-- and it happens so often when anxiety rears its ugly head. It has also been a trigger, not just the cause. That's the other part to panic attacks-- every single stimuli is completely exaggerated. It is the definition of hyper-sensitivity, but it's so friggin hard to change how you react to certain things, especially if you think you've conquered the bloody thing, and it comes back with a vengeance.

I once had an episode of sleep paralysis and to be perfectly honest, it wasn't really that bad. I didn't panic and just calmly got to moving after a minute or two. I tried to move my arm and got it to move after imagining that I was throwing a ball.The trippy part was that I was face down in my pillow and was worried I would suffocate. I quickly became aware of what was likely happening (sleep paralysis) and I knew I would snap out of it. This happened after I had already experienced my first panic attack, so I was pleasantly surprised that I took it so well. A much scarier thing once happened where I woke up in the middle of the night completely startled, got up, collapsed, got up again, went to the bathroom and realized when I looked in the mirror that I didn't recognize myself at all-- as if I was staring at a complete stranger. I made my way back to bed and woke up fine the next day. I'm thinking it could have been a minor stroke-- they run in my family.

What I get every single winter for some reason is Hypnagogia. I literally start to hallucinate before I am asleep. As if I'm experiencing both the conscious and subconscious mind simultaneously. Almost like a first and third person perspective at the same time. It can be the most beautiful experience, but it can also be scary as hell because the lines between reality and hallucination become nonexistent. I've had times where I could literally lay down, close my eyes, and within less than a minute be in a total hallucination-- but totally awake and 'observing' it. I once had a rather pleasant one, but I felt really thirsty. So I got up, had a glass of water, and went back to tripping-- the same damn thing just kept appearing as if I paused a film and started it again. I had a sleep study done and all they could come up with is that I have problems sleeping because of 'psychological' reasons. They didn't elaborate any further except for telling me that my throat is narrow and my tongue swollen, which would indicate obstructive sleep apnea (in my limited understanding), but they said it was all psychological and referred me to a psychologist.

I don't think fearing gas is completely irrational. I once tried to light a BBQ at night, drunk out of my mind. When I finally managed to succeed the subsequent explosion burned off all my facial hair, eyebrows included. At work sometimes there are gas leaks and trust me, nobody fucks around when someone smells it-- we literally run out of there and call the gas people.

re-phaelam-ed · Post by **re-phaelam-ed** » Wed Apr 09, 2014 2:59 am

dying...i don't wanna ever stop hearing music or being outside.

FUCK i dont wanna die

2020k · Post by **2020k** » Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:50 am

The same as the poster above. Dying simply for the fact that I can't imagine not hearing music as it evolves through time. Amongst other things, like breathing and stuff...lol.

Failure is also a fear.

powershoes · Post by **powershoes** » Wed Apr 09, 2014 9:03 am

i awake to find thousands of ticks, chiggers, crickets, and centipedes burroughing into and feasting on my body. as i shake my head and arms, hundreds of bugs and larvae fall from the open holes they've created in my necrotic flesh. my mouth and eye sockets begin to crawl. the hissing and buzzing intensifies as i succomb to the writhe of the arthropods. i fall to my knees, and darkness evelopes my vision.

Julian Candy · Post by **Julian Candy** » Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:15 am

-Being a failure, a let-down, or a mooch.
-Ending up divorced with two kids like my parents.
-Resorting to substances to deal with my problems (in relation to the previous).
-Letting my emotions get the better of me and I end up doing emotional or physical harm to someone I care about.

The Telepathic Kid · Post by **The Telepathic Kid** » Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:01 am

being in a life where every day repeats.

the 9-5 grind, "settling down" aka losing all reason to live and supporting children that probably don't love you.

doing nothing with my life.

I'm not afraid of death, and on some dark days, I welcome it.

several · Post by **several** » Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:21 pm

wasps, spiders, the dark, death, and being in a large area all alone (kenophobia)

i know that spiders/wasps are said often but i'm not kidding, i will be the manliest dude you know and the SECOND i see a wasp/spider i will FREAK THE HELL OUT.

i don't like em and i never will

uf0party · Post by **uf0party** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 4:50 pm

several wrote:wasps, spiders, the dark, death, and being in a large area all alone (kenophobia)

i know that spiders/wasps are said often but i'm not kidding, i will be the manliest dude you know and the SECOND i see a wasp/spider i will FREAK THE HELL OUT.

i don't like em and i never will

haha i feel the same about wasps! i think they are really cool looking but i flip if they get too close. i love spiders but again if they get too close to me (the big ones at least) i get nervous haha. though when i encounter peoples' pet tarantulas i always want to hold them even though i freeze up when i do.

thank you all for sharing! i think that i may have some kind of buried phobia of alligators because i have recurring nightmares about them stalking me and chasing me. in one of them i vividly remember being chewed up by one. i don't freak out if i see them while i'm awake but those are some of the most horrible nightmares. it's strange.

i also have an insane fear of heights but i love rollercoasters and crazy big rides. i think i can handle and enjoy heights when i'm moving around quickly, but if i'm still (like on a ferris wheel) i am just filled with dread. heights are so frightening to me that i can't even look up at high buildings without my knees buckling.

i think that i kind of contradict myself in the sense that i am really afraid of some things but i like to indulge in those things? i am just in love with the adrenaline that comes with fear i guess.

Foghlamaiche · Post by **Foghlamaiche** » Sun Apr 13, 2014 8:29 pm

It's not irrational but I have a fairly profound fear of nuclear war.

louise · Post by **louise** » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:08 pm

uf0party wrote:i am fascinated by fear and hope you will share with me something (or many things) that seriously frighten you. i'm working on some very short films that deal with fear and i want to avoid only working with what i think is unsettling.

i am especially interested in irrational fears. if there's something that makes you really uncomfortable but you don't really know why, i would love to hear about it.

the death of any of my loved ones as ive been lucky enough not to lose any yet. being cheated on.

swimming with an object above me or through a tunnel.

irrational.....i fucking despise meringue. it makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it.

OH and i break into a sweat watching this kind of stuff

louise · Post by **louise** » Tue Apr 15, 2014 8:09 pm

Foghlamaiche wrote:It's not irrational but I have a fairly profound fear of nuclear war.

oh yeah this too

____twoism

tell me your fears

tell me your fears

Re: tell me your fears