saturdayindex wrote:Cab Dreaming wrote:The city I was living in was the city that I had lived my 20's in (the major period of depression for me), so I had to go, it was too ripe with triggers and associations that reinforced the depression, so I moved to another city.
Did moving help you at all?
Without a doubt. In hindsight, along with choosing to reframe my relationship with my parents it was probably the singular most important thing I did, the decision to move away was the catalyst for quite a few things that started to move me out of constant depression.
For one, it brought to light how a few of my friends genuinely saw me. One in particular, who I would consider to have been my best friend in my 20's basically turned on me overnight. I know now that we were a couple of victims who found comfort in reinforcing our own negative outlook on life, and whereas I was now attempting to make a change she saw this as a betrayal, which in turn made me realise that she never really saw me as a genuine friend, I was merely a one man support network for her, that was being removed and she was scared.
Moving away from the city itself was a major part of the grieving process. For me, depression was my comfort zone, it had been my coping mechanism and my life for almost 15 years altogether, and now I'd chosen to end that life and begin a new one, so I had to step away from the graveside of where that life had been led and start the mourning process, for want of a better way of putting it.
Also, it engendered a certain sense of empowerment that I had actually made, even on quite a surface level, a pretty big decision, something I pathologically stayed away from previously because it was easier to let things happen and blame some external force rather than put myself out there and potentially suffer the consequences of a bad decision, as I always saw it. Fear of failure was (is) one of my main depression triggers, so it honestly took every ounce of energy I had to say to myself "if it doesn't work out, it's actually fine. At least I'm showing that I'm starting to give myself some value and even if that's all you get from this, it's still progress."
So in short, yes, it did help!