turquoise70 wrote:Well after another huge bout of drunk-every-night that lasted several weeks, I'm finally trying to sober again. Today is day 3.
But alcohol aside, I have to gripe about pot for a while. It used to be a lot of fun, and now it's not nearly as much (I still like it when the situation is -just right- but most times it's just aggravating to me to be high). But now the main thing that bothers me is seeing OTHER people stoned.
I'll be hanging with my friends, and they'll all be wanting to get high before we go to this restaurant right? And I'm like oh great, they're gonna turn all slow and distant and not-here - which sometimes they do and sometimes they don't, it depends. So they start packing a bowl and to them it's like the only important thing in the world at the moment, or that's how it looks from where I'm sitting. I can't get an answer out of anyone when I'm trying to do something, even if it's help them with their computer somehow or another. So they pack the bowl and pack the bowl and finally it's done, then they have to see who gets greens, and finally they start passing the thing around. And everyone looks so zoned out and .... I don't know, sad, not like "god how pathetic" sad but maybe a milder form of that. They slow down and get that zombified look and cough and cough and cough and cough. This goes on for 10 or 15 minutes, then they pack a bong. God.
I'm starting to realize how irritating it is for people who don't smoke to have stoner friends. It's getting really really hard not to tell my friends, "You guys, it's starting to get really sad seeing you get stoned. It used to be fun, and I used to enjoy the whole ritual of us all passing a bowl around and enjoying stuff, but it seems like you're really reaching now, it feels like we should be trying to enjoy stuff just how it is without having to get high first. I feel totally disconnected from whatever you guys are enjoying when you're high, and to me it looks dumb and overrated, whatever you're feeling." I started to get this pervasive feeling back when I was smoking, it came on stronger and stronger for almost a year or so, where I'd get high and be out in a beautiful day and be like "Man, this is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm out here in this wonderful day, but man - I wish I could enjoy it this much without weed, I wish I could be this appreciative sober." And I don't know, maybe it's only me, but I started to think it was even better to try and be that way. Weed is just... it's a burden, it's a pain in my ass now.
This is exactly how I feel. You just blew my mind.
Because alchohol and drugs are pacifying tools of government and industry. Because they make one submissive and unquestioning. Because as a substitute for all creativity, drugs make one a boring person. Because they are powerful tools to neutralize opposition. Because pulling the plug from your brain for a while ignores the issue of what it is about your life that would bring you to wish this in the first place. Because drinking culture- the vomit, the liquid band aids for insecrity, the empty "s/he's fun to drink with " friendships- will never be any less degenerate. Because if you're a "punk" or "radical," going to parties and getting drunk with the boys, I wonder how you convince yourself you're any different than the frat boy up the street. Or for that matter- your parents.
euue wrote:just passed the four month mark not long ago, which is the longest i've gone since i started drinking daily, ten years ago, and shit is getting REAL
turquoise70 wrote:Well after another huge bout of drunk-every-night that lasted several weeks, I'm finally trying to sober again. Today is day 3.
But alcohol aside, I have to gripe about pot for a while. It used to be a lot of fun, and now it's not nearly as much (I still like it when the situation is -just right- but most times it's just aggravating to me to be high). But now the main thing that bothers me is seeing OTHER people stoned.
I'll be hanging with my friends, and they'll all be wanting to get high before we go to this restaurant right? And I'm like oh great, they're gonna turn all slow and distant and not-here - which sometimes they do and sometimes they don't, it depends. So they start packing a bowl and to them it's like the only important thing in the world at the moment, or that's how it looks from where I'm sitting. I can't get an answer out of anyone when I'm trying to do something, even if it's help them with their computer somehow or another. So they pack the bowl and pack the bowl and finally it's done, then they have to see who gets greens, and finally they start passing the thing around. And everyone looks so zoned out and .... I don't know, sad, not like "god how pathetic" sad but maybe a milder form of that. They slow down and get that zombified look and cough and cough and cough and cough. This goes on for 10 or 15 minutes, then they pack a bong. God.
I'm starting to realize how irritating it is for people who don't smoke to have stoner friends. It's getting really really hard not to tell my friends, "You guys, it's starting to get really sad seeing you get stoned. It used to be fun, and I used to enjoy the whole ritual of us all passing a bowl around and enjoying stuff, but it seems like you're really reaching now, it feels like we should be trying to enjoy stuff just how it is without having to get high first. I feel totally disconnected from whatever you guys are enjoying when you're high, and to me it looks dumb and overrated, whatever you're feeling." I started to get this pervasive feeling back when I was smoking, it came on stronger and stronger for almost a year or so, where I'd get high and be out in a beautiful day and be like "Man, this is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm out here in this wonderful day, but man - I wish I could enjoy it this much without weed, I wish I could be this appreciative sober." And I don't know, maybe it's only me, but I started to think it was even better to try and be that way. Weed is just... it's a burden, it's a pain in my ass now.
This is exactly how I feel. You just blew my mind.
I feel the same way about it. The disconnection from your friends is a little sad. I like trying my best to appreciate things while sober. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to do so, but I think it's worth it in the long run.
Also, related to this thread: I don't drink frequently by any means, but man I feel so stilted when I'm sober around people that I don't know well - particularly females that I like. It really feels like one of my biggest flaws. I wish I could desensitize myself to the process of meeting new people - and just totally be myself - but it never works. What are the best ways to socially lubricate beyond drinking alcohol?
When I had truly sobered up for a while (chemical balances starting to restore etc etc) the only thing separating me from being part of nature the whole 'I am so happy to be here and take this in but I wish I could do so sober' was caffeine weirdly. When I took caffeine of any kind (other than green tea because the content is negligible) out of the picture I could start really appreciating and feeling the moment in a sedate kind of natural way. Just a thought for those of you trying to stop but if it helps you to stop I would continue until you are ready. Muchos love to all of you.
