I hope you are okay.

louise · Post by **louise** » Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:45 pm

Trade lives with me? ^^

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Fri Mar 13, 2015 2:34 am

...maybe. U make music?

louise · Post by **louise** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 7:38 pm

no but i make a mean lasagne

Mexicola · Post by **Mexicola** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:01 pm

And a good lasagne trumps new BOC in my book. Sorry..

Negamuse · Post by **Negamuse** » Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:28 pm

It's got so many layers...

2020k · Post by **2020k** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 2:42 am

RVeldhuis wrote:I never have a hard time falling asleep, but waking up and getting out of bed.... god damn thats way to fucking hard for me.

Like Cupz, I've struggled with this for the majority of my life. For years I've tried to be a morning person, but my body clock just won't adjust. I've read articles, switched diet, set a consistent alarm every morning for long durations of time. Nothing works.

I came into this post to give an update to my first post, but it's not the update I thought I would give in here. I started a new data entry job where I can enjoy all of the free coffee I drink all day long and an atmosphere that's seemingly professional and quiet and it's effected me to the point of where I've been the most content I've felt in years for the last week. My stress levels are low, I'm not feeling much anxiety, and today I had to stop myself from tearing up at my desk because I can't remember the last time I felt this happy this long, without crippling anxious/stressful thoughts.

A really good friend referred me to this position and I owe her ten thousand cakes and cookies for her good word. I've written a full song in minutes at my desk..I've worked on my album with a full creative brain, not a self-loathing one. I've come home with a smile on my face, and I've gone to sleep without worry. I sent a text to my friend last weekend to thank her and told her that my brain feels so relaxed that I think it's wondering if it's been transplanted into another body or something.

The jobs I had prior to this weren't bad. I've also said countless times on and off the forum that I quit my job Spring-Summer last year to devote fully to creative work, so I'm not sure why this particular job/life change is effecting me the way it is, but I'm trying not to question it. This is a silver lining and an optimistic perspective that I haven't seen in a long time and while I'm sure I'll somehow stumble on down the stairs into Anxietyvile again (I've had a house there all my life, after all), I'm just so fucking happy to say that I am okay for once. And I'm glad this thread is here and I hope you are okay too and that there are moments like these for you too.

ShaneAnthony · Post by **ShaneAnthony** » Wed Mar 18, 2015 6:40 am

Thank you people for being real! Mad love!

S

Alpha Rainbow · Post by **Alpha Rainbow** » Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:47 pm

Speaking of sleep disorders. Have any of you had experience with melatonin as a way to adjust your circadian rhythm? Maybe just the OP's username being suggestive of it, but I was medicated with quite a few synthetic sleeping tablets to adjust to so-called 'human hours' and it turns out the one that made a difference for me is the melatonin content found in pineapple which is quite significant if anyone has the time to look in to it.
Also yes ^. The human mind is a creative being and not allowing yourself creative outlet can be truly damaging to your mental health.

Aerial Boundaries · Post by **Aerial Boundaries** » Wed Apr 22, 2015 6:35 pm

I do not Alpha. But I can recommend exercise, heavy exercise if you can. Helps with stress and makes you physically tired enough to sleep, two in one.

Making sure you get direct sunlight in the morning also helps regulate your natural circadian rhythm. It works the most around 6 to 9 o'clock apparently. There have been studies on it.

Abstaining from monitors, tv screens and mobiles and tablets about an hour before bed can help.

portiss · Post by **portiss** » Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:09 am

Alpha Rainbow wrote:Speaking of sleep disorders. Have any of you had experience with melatonin as a way to adjust your circadian rhythm? Maybe just the OP's username being suggestive of it, but I was medicated with quite a few synthetic sleeping tablets to adjust to so-called 'human hours' and it turns out the one that made a difference for me is the melatonin content found in pineapple which is quite significant if anyone has the time to look in to it.
Also yes ^. The human mind is a creative being and not allowing yourself creative outlet can be truly damaging to your mental health.

I used to take Melatonin on perscription by my docter back in the days when I could barely get 1 or 2 hours sleep a night, and it started taking a toll on my job/life. In the Netherlands you can buy 0,1 mg capsules at the grocery store, but on perscription my doctor gave me 2.0 mg pills, and man, they really worked like a charm. I took them an hour before I went to bed, and I would be gone in 10 minutes, whereas earlier I would be having trouble getting sleep the entire night. Part of me thinks it was a change mentally, because every night when I went to bed I would think, fuck sake, another night without sleep, and I guess that would really make sure of me not sleeping. But when I took melatonin I had a mental change, this is gonna help me sleep, and Im gonna sleep like a baby. And it did, 8 hours of constant sleep without even waking up. After 3 or 4 weeks I got rid of the melatonin, and could sleep again. Best thing is, I THINK (not sure) it's completely harmless, because melatonin is a substance your body already is capable of making on it's own.

Alpha Rainbow · Post by **Alpha Rainbow** » Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:42 am

portiss wrote:I used to take Melatonin on perscription by my docter back in the days when I could barely get 1 or 2 hours sleep a night, and it started taking a toll on my job/life. In the Netherlands you can buy 0,1 mg capsules at the grocery store, but on perscription my doctor gave me 2.0 mg pills, and man, they really worked like a charm. I took them an hour before I went to bed, and I would be gone in 10 minutes, whereas earlier I would be having trouble getting sleep the entire night. Part of me thinks it was a change mentally, because every night when I went to bed I would think, fuck sake, another night without sleep, and I guess that would really make sure of me not sleeping. But when I took melatonin I had a mental change, this is gonna help me sleep, and Im gonna sleep like a baby. And it did, 8 hours of constant sleep without even waking up. After 3 or 4 weeks I got rid of the melatonin, and could sleep again. Best thing is, I THINK (not sure) it's completely harmless, because melatonin is a substance your body already is capable of making on it's own.

I have had very similar results. It is nice to see another experienced advocate of its wondrous abilities as a supplement.

I find that you are right about the shift mentally. Melatonin is a basic tryptamine produced by the mind naturally that provides one with a healthy perspective of reality in which problems can be addressed calmly and without anxiety as well as being a potent antioxidant. For various reasons (I will refrain from conspiracy here) the vast majority of people nowadays have a melatonin deficiency which leaves them in a chronic state of restless uneasiness which I find to be quite worrying.
As for the safety of using exogenous melatonin, I have done extensive research and the only risk in ~50% of the patients that where prescribed it over a long period is the loss of response to it caused by the enzyme that breaks it down. On further research I found that the reason I was not in this category was that nicotine induces this enzyme and thus completely eliminates any chance of losing response to it. The first time that smoking a few roll-ups a day has ever benefited me, really.

Sorry for the essay but this is a subject that I am quite passionate about as you may have guessed

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Mon May 04, 2015 10:35 pm

i belong in this thread.

i'm scared guys. all the time, but today especially. It's really not going to be okay. we're all going to die eventually, some of us horribly, and the planet is ruined. I'm really, really scared about those things. I don't want either to happen to me. I want them to be fake things that don't actually happen. Sometimes I don't even know if I can handle it.

Valotonin · Post by **Valotonin** » Tue May 05, 2015 5:34 am

turquoise70 wrote:i belong in this thread.

i'm scared guys. all the time, but today especially. It's really not going to be okay. we're all going to die eventually, some of us horribly, and the planet is ruined. I'm really, really scared about those things. I don't want either to happen to me. I want them to be fake things that don't actually happen. Sometimes I don't even know if I can handle it.

That particular anxiety rabbit hole sure is a difficult one to climb out of.
Death is so far away from you that you needn't worry. I promise.
Your first responsibility is always to yourself. How can one ever give light to others if they aren't illuminated themselves? You should be selfish because it is the least selfish thing you can do and problems on a larger scale can't be considered until you are in a calm and safe enough place mentally to be able to help address them without causing yourself dysphoria.

The planet is only ruined as far as technological humans are concerned. Humanity still has a long and beautiful few chapters ahead of the one we are currently on.

These are all things I told myself when worrying to a point of panic about literally the same things. Since then time has slowed down and I have really felt peaceful. I got something back I never thought possible and you deserve it too.

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Tue May 05, 2015 2:21 pm

I feel like that everytime I watch television or read "the news", therefore I've stopped watching television and reading "the news".
I agree that it appears we are pretty fucked, but I'm going to do my best and enjoy my own ride regardless. The world is pretty awesome when you got sex, drugs and rock and roll on your side, at least for a while.

Mexicola · Post by **Mexicola** » Tue May 05, 2015 3:08 pm

You're a long time dead my friends.
Might as well live, as someone wise once said.

Not said lightly either, as some of you are aware ;-)

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Tue May 05, 2015 5:38 pm

Well said...might as well live. We aint got nothing better to do anyway.

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Thu May 07, 2015 9:06 pm

It's a strangely beautiful day. Makes me want to burn brighter.

portiss · Post by **portiss** » Fri May 08, 2015 7:03 am

turquoise70 wrote:It's a strangely beautiful day. Makes me want to burn brighter.

Practically every day can be beautiful, as long as your willing to see the beauty of it.

/Cliché, sorry.

Aerial Boundaries · Post by **Aerial Boundaries** » Fri May 08, 2015 9:24 am

Mexicola wrote:You're a long time dead my friends.
Might as well live, as someone wise once said.

Not said lightly either, as some of you are aware

If there was an emoticon for 'half smile with slight turn of the head' I would use it.

rodox_head · Post by **rodox_head** » Thu Jun 16, 2022 3:51 am

louise wrote:Trade lives with me? ^^

Cupz wrote:...maybe. U make music?

louise wrote:no but i make a mean lasagne

Negamuse wrote:It's got so many layers...

I don't think I've ever started laughing then burst into tears mid laugh until I read this.

I've been feeling maudlin today thinking about all the members I used to interact with back in 2011 or so that I feel are just essentially gone from my perspective. Or maybe I didn't really interact with them much, I don't know my own life too well. Hell, I doubt I'd ring any bells if I name dropped my old account anyway. Is it me or is there just a lot less "openness" these days?

I really wish I wasn't so scared all the time. Nothing feels "okay" these days, and things seem to only be getting worse

"RH, STFU, stop making things about yourself"

____twoism

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