Jonse wrote:
Like a great many others from this time (and really the bulk of anything I posted in my 20s) I really regret this post. Not trying to say I did so wrong, I remember where my heart was that day. I don't blame myself or others for being naive. If I had just taken a moment to notice how better things were getting and only consider the possibility they could become so unfathomably worse, I would not have written such a callous fucking remark. Even though spaces were cropping up all around me and I was certainly aware of people like Nicole, I didn't understand yet. I wanted to, the desire was always there but I didn't understand gender dysphoria and was narrowly focused on the kind of minutiae the same monsters who want trans people gone are obsessed with today. Thank God things became clearer.
I don't know if this is some kind of apology, or reflection on growth, or neither or both.
Pshhh. My man. You are truly all good. I didn't even remember that anyway. More to the point though I have posted many a dumbass thing on this forum and - I mean, if you're asking me personally I don't even think this ranks as a dumbass thing or requiring an apology. We learn, we grow.
For what it's worth, no regrets! It hasn't always been a cakewalk but I'm happy with it. My pants fit better now.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
Jonse wrote:I don't know if this is some kind of apology, or reflection on growth, or neither or both.
If that deserves an apology, then I deserve to be tarred, feathered, and hanged for some of the shit I said prior to 2017... with present day me in the audience.
I think you're good, but I don't like to speak for others.
Same. Some of my really old posts are quite vile towards my LGBTQ+ friends too, parroting things my family and the bible taught me. It really keeps me up sometimes. But we learn and grow (and try to set better examples).
Anyway, I bought and wore a fake pearl bracelet yesterday and it was nice. That doesn't sound like a big deal but it is to me.
turquoise70 wrote:I could probably come up with a lot of answers to this, because my parents fumbled hard, but the first things that come to mind right away I guess would be something like... one, when they say who they are, believe them. I'm sure there are kids out there who don't fully grasp what they're saying but my *personal* experience of genderqueer and trans kids/tweens has been that they show a remarkably well-developed sense of self awareness compared to some of their peers. And two, try and give them space to be unsure or second-guess or try a new thing without dismissing the experimentation as "not you". In my household, "going through a phase" was used as a derogatory expression, as a way of dismissing and belittling the kid (me) for not having my entire identity locked in right away, and it definitely left a bad mark on my psyche.
Like, the fact alone that you're already letting your kid know your love for them isn't going to change, that you're signaling you're okay with what they're feeling, and you're asking advice from people who've had that experience - says to me that both these things are probably already obvious to you without my needing to say anything about them, I'm sure.
Turquoise, thank you very much for the response. We are definitely trying to do all the things that you mentioned. Obviously, time will tell, and I guess this also serves as a good reminder for me to check in with them regularly and see if they feel they're being supported and doing right by them.
I thank everyone for their kind words. Cupz needs to give me a phone number or email or something so I can contact him again.
T70: you are one of the greatest influences in my life. None of my work would exist without you. Please make DOS Image II. I don't think it'll ruin the first one.
Josh wrote:I guess this also serves as a good reminder for me to check in with them regularly and see if they feel they're being supported and doing right by them.
I don't even have a real stake in this topic, but man - if either of my parents ever, ever once asked me that ... our relationships would be a lot better off
I've locked myself back in the closet so hard for the past couple years that I sometimes question if the people that I did come out to remember I did in the first place.
Also, while I'm aware of a fear of impregnation, is it normal to experience similar, but from a male perspective? Like looking in the mirror and seeing a goddamned xenomorph.
Honestly nothing to do with body integrity or any manifestation of the difference between the body you inhabit and the body you feel is yours would entirely surprise me
Negamuse wrote:Honestly nothing to do with body integrity or any manifestation of the difference between the body you inhabit and the body you feel is yours would entirely surprise me
Maybe I'm just getting old and stupid, but not sure I follow.
Cupz wrote:I've been pondering lately if I might be non-binary.
A binary is either/or and nothing in between. And if I had to put my identity entirely in a "man" box I feel important information about me is lost. I also notice I feel agitated when someone talks about me in terms of my manliness, as if I don't really associate with that social construct.
This is a lot like how I feel!! I've described it as "my gender is far from the most important thing about me." I feel like a person who just so happens to look fairly conventionally masculine and was raised as a cisgender male, not a MAN if that makes sense. I don't personally really feel boxed in by societal expectations of masculinity, but on the flip side I also don't feel like I'm necessarily doing anything really transgressive or subversive when I do things stereotypically associated with femininity. In other words I guess I don't feel the need to "be manly" to ensure I'm seen as a man, but also I don't feel that not doing that is necessarily indicative of some sort of feminine gender identity. I just...exist I suppose
Red -
Orange - Aquarius
Yellow - Alpha and Omega
Green -
Blue -
Purple - Music is Math
i think some (though i doubt all) of that feeling can be ascribed to the fact that, for most of where most of us live, cisgender malehood is the 'default' and presenting as female is the non-normative thing that people in that camp DO have to think about regularly
you see similar patterns with race and other identities that see marginalization - the whole WEB DuBois's "double consciousness" at play
