Squarepusher Jokes.

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:54 am

okay, so Aphex, BoC and Autechre were all partying and then who do you know but Squarepusher calls up and whines "Can I come to your party?" and they reply "No you stupid dick, go push some squares."

I made like 50 other ones that all sound like that.

They're not funny. They only are funny if you are me.

kyriakos · Post by **kyriakos** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 2:29 am

vonarx · Post by **vonarx** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 2:43 am

knock knock

who's there

square

square who

squarepusher

Wrathschild · Post by **Wrathschild** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:05 pm

Not a joke... But the gods' own truth.

When writing on a cassette back in the dark ages I realised that SQUAREPUSHER is the most satisfying word in the world to write by hand.

If you dont belive me try it. Use a pen (preferably biro) and write it fast in capital letters, never letting the pen leave the paper.

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:16 pm

BAH!

now I have a whole full page of badly written "SQUAREPUSHER"'s

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:21 pm

Aphex, BoC and Autechre were all partying and then who do you know but Squarepusher calls up and whines "Can I come to your party?" and they reply "No you stupid dick, go play sokoban!

Infinite E · Post by **Infinite E** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 2:52 pm

what do you get if you multiply pusher by pusher?

squared pusher

HA! FUNNY!

jl · Post by jl » Fri Jun 01, 2007 4:18 pm

Aphex, BoC and Autechre were all partying and then who do you know but Squarepusher calls up and whines "Can I come to your party?" and they reply "Why, yes, of course you can."

They had cheesecakes, played with silly string and then went home. The end.

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:21 pm

Once, in the time before time, god decided to test man. He fashioned three different shapes out of clay. One was a circle, one was a triangle, and the last one was a square. He summoned Squarepusher, a mortal.

"The Circle will cause the universe to exist in complete harmony, the Triangle will make you take my place, and the square will make everything explode." god said. "Push one of them."

Well the big bang can be accredited to Squarepusher, cuz he's a stupid dick.

jl · Post by jl » Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:26 pm

these are hilarious

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:44 pm

Aphex, BoC, and Squarepusher all were walking in a line. They passed a square. Aphex was like "Fuck this!" and drank some guinness. BoC was like "Hell no!" and dropped acid. Knowing Squarepusher for the stupid dick he is, he pushed the square.

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:45 pm

Where does Squarepusher live?

Cuba.

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Sat Jun 02, 2007 9:59 pm

Why did Squarepusher cross the road?

There was a fucking square on the other side.

Why did Aphex Twin cross the road?

He was wearing a tee-shirt with a square on it.

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 8:15 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cuz his head looked like a square. And squarepusher was right behind it.

Why did the rectangle cross the road?
Squarepusher was on acid and thought the rectangle was a square.

Why did Andre 3000 cross the road?
To make love to squarepusher like in this video:

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:19 pm

Vordhosbn wrote: Why did the rectangle cross the road?
Squarepusher was on acid and thought the rectangle was a square.

this one exually made me laugh

Vordhosbn · Post by **Vordhosbn** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 2:04 am

What happens when you give Squarepusher a bass?

He slaps that bitch.

This is not even intended to be funny. Squarepusher is a kickass bassist, and that is one of the only reasons I have a slightest intrest in him.