BoC & Drugs
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- turquoise70
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i used to do a ton of laughing gas every weekend when i just started college. i was looking for any kind of drug that didn't scare the shit out of me, that was 'tidy' enough to keep hidden (i was always too worried about having pot back then because of the smell and my inexperience with handling it myself at that point made me worry i'd spill it everywhere in my bedroom) and was easy to get. they don't call that shit hippie crack for nothing though, cuz it's definitely addictive (in a non-chemical way). i'd rip through 48 hits or so in the span of an hour...i listened to a lot of BoC while doing this, but i found that whatever music i'm listening to on n2o, doesn't matter if i like it sober, i may not like it while on a hit of nitrous because the reasons for liking it change. it felt amazing, sometimes i'd combine it with whiskey, sometimes with 2-CE, there was one 2-CE experience that was especially awesome - i was watching The Raccoons on my computer and hearing the voices, and being able to see the way the voice actors' mouths were moving "behind" the animated characters, and just being in love with the whole world.
Every individual nitrous trip was like witnessing the birth of a new universe generated solely by your own personality and observing and tracing patterns in the fabric of reality and in the nature of my own thought, giving the sensation that i could 'see' my own thoughts developing and becoming intelligible as they arose.
The bad news is, it started to really suck my money away, and it got to the point where my equipment started to get busted from too much poor use. i would be passing out from the nitrous while me fingers or lips got frozen to the metal cracker i was using, and before i was even down from the last trip i'd be trying to load up another one, meanwhile i can't feel my arms so i'm still grappling this frozen piece of metal....arrrgh
ouch.
Finally i just had a crappy experience with nitrous itself and it hit me that it was time to stop. The experience of it left me depressed and empty, all of the magic of witnessing of a new universe was completely sucked away, and waking up in my chair with both arms hanging down at my sides and a frozen whippet cracker stuck to one hand, drooling on my shirt became quite depressing.
I decided to try it once more in combination with being high, only to find the experience nearly unbearable. The trip was as boring and depressing as it was when i left off, but the awakening was even worse, since after the trip I couldn't escape what i can only describe as a maddeningly circular thought pattern that consisted of sort of an OCD thought process hijacking every thought I had and relating it back somehow to the last thought I'd had. It felt like my brain was trying to commit suicide for like an hour or two, till i passed out for the night.
Haven't touched the whippets since then.
Every individual nitrous trip was like witnessing the birth of a new universe generated solely by your own personality and observing and tracing patterns in the fabric of reality and in the nature of my own thought, giving the sensation that i could 'see' my own thoughts developing and becoming intelligible as they arose.
The bad news is, it started to really suck my money away, and it got to the point where my equipment started to get busted from too much poor use. i would be passing out from the nitrous while me fingers or lips got frozen to the metal cracker i was using, and before i was even down from the last trip i'd be trying to load up another one, meanwhile i can't feel my arms so i'm still grappling this frozen piece of metal....arrrgh
Finally i just had a crappy experience with nitrous itself and it hit me that it was time to stop. The experience of it left me depressed and empty, all of the magic of witnessing of a new universe was completely sucked away, and waking up in my chair with both arms hanging down at my sides and a frozen whippet cracker stuck to one hand, drooling on my shirt became quite depressing.
I decided to try it once more in combination with being high, only to find the experience nearly unbearable. The trip was as boring and depressing as it was when i left off, but the awakening was even worse, since after the trip I couldn't escape what i can only describe as a maddeningly circular thought pattern that consisted of sort of an OCD thought process hijacking every thought I had and relating it back somehow to the last thought I'd had. It felt like my brain was trying to commit suicide for like an hour or two, till i passed out for the night.
Haven't touched the whippets since then.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
- Infinite E
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I've know exactly what you mean, that's one of the most negative and unpleasant feelings I've ever had. Happens to me when I take 'thoughty' drugs when I'm depressed, even just smoking a lot of weed.turquoise70 wrote:what i can only describe as a maddeningly circular thought pattern that consisted of sort of an OCD thought process hijacking every thought I had and relating it back somehow to the last thought I'd had. It felt like my brain was trying to commit suicide for like an hour or two, till i passed out for the night.
"Now son, don't worry, those were just lies Daddy told to get prescription drugs"
I've felt that way a lot on pot. It's pretty shitty. I don't get that way too much anymore though.Infinite E wrote:I've know exactly what you mean, that's one of the most negative and unpleasant feelings I've ever had. Happens to me when I take 'thoughty' drugs when I'm depressed, even just smoking a lot of weed.turquoise70 wrote:what i can only describe as a maddeningly circular thought pattern that consisted of sort of an OCD thought process hijacking every thought I had and relating it back somehow to the last thought I'd had. It felt like my brain was trying to commit suicide for like an hour or two, till i passed out for the night.
I used to feel nothing else, but thats slowly going away.Beacon wrote:I've felt that way a lot on pot. It's pretty shitty. I don't get that way too much anymore though.Infinite E wrote:I've know exactly what you mean, that's one of the most negative and unpleasant feelings I've ever had. Happens to me when I take 'thoughty' drugs when I'm depressed, even just smoking a lot of weed.turquoise70 wrote:what i can only describe as a maddeningly circular thought pattern that consisted of sort of an OCD thought process hijacking every thought I had and relating it back somehow to the last thought I'd had. It felt like my brain was trying to commit suicide for like an hour or two, till i passed out for the night.
Throw away your smartphone.
- qabbalique
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without trying to start the who does more drugs dick waving contest i think out of all the drugs i've done over the years, k ranks as one of my favorite. honestly, during the beginning of the trip, while campfire headphase was starting, i really started to believe i was maybe about to die. i felt that way mostly because my shifts in perception were so drastic, but there was also this intense feeling of calm and oneness with everything. it was a situation where i thought i might die, but i felt really at ease with it. after that the trip happened, and ended up being a really profound experience for me. ayahuasca as far as i've found is really really hard to come by, and half the time people say they have it, it ends up being total bullshit. burroughs had to go get that from where it grows, and iboga is the same. i used to feel the same way about synthetics, but after you think about some of the processes that are used on pot and cocaine (involving gasoline sometimes) the natural route doesn't really sit all that well with me either. salvia has always been a major waste of time for me, and deterra (sp?) has always seemed to result in bad trips for myself and everyone i know who has done it. there is even research being done with ketamine in small doses as an anti-depressant.Pilzolli wrote:
But this K sniffer story is way out of my range. I don't do synthetic stuff, only plants.
Perhaps he should try Ayahuasca on that matter...a heavy dose of k for me seemed as though reality was literally melting around me. from there it's really hard to describe an experience that seemed entirely out of body. it just felt as though i was floating through infinite space
But that would be really hard to take...
- silo flame
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- Shadowshocker
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- silo flame
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Had that exact same feeling on shrooms. It was amazing, frightening and depressing all at once. I felt so apathetic that I didn't care if I died. Nothing mattered, everything was just one big blob of connected chemicals.but there was also this intense feeling of calm and oneness with everything. it was a situation where i thought i might die, but i felt really at ease with it.
- Shadowshocker
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- silo flame
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I gotta say I'm surprised at Salvia being referred to as a minor psychedelic or a waste of time. I guess if you don't smoke enough to launch it's pretty minor but maybe save for Datura it would have to be one of the most intense drugs I've tried. I love it though, it's probably my second favorite psychedelic after mushrooms, and it is fun to smoke without launching if you just wanna go psychedelic for a few minutes 'cause you have something to do later.
But yeah Datura is rarely fun for anybody.
I liked BoC before I was into drugs, but then I decided that Geogaddi would be the album for my first mushroom trip back in the day and suddenly I understood their brilliance a little better. Walked around the park for awhile with my buddies and then decided to turn the iPod on just before the peak and wander away from the group for a little while and it turned out to be one of the most important experiences of my life.
But yeah Datura is rarely fun for anybody.
I liked BoC before I was into drugs, but then I decided that Geogaddi would be the album for my first mushroom trip back in the day and suddenly I understood their brilliance a little better. Walked around the park for awhile with my buddies and then decided to turn the iPod on just before the peak and wander away from the group for a little while and it turned out to be one of the most important experiences of my life.
yeah...i think that sums up my experience...xBeacon wrote:Had that exact same feeling on shrooms. It was amazing, frightening and depressing all at once. I felt so apathetic that I didn't care if I died. Nothing mattered, everything was just one big blob of connected chemicals.but there was also this intense feeling of calm and oneness with everything. it was a situation where i thought i might die, but i felt really at ease with it.
- turquoise70
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i think my sense of ennui actually overpowers the sensations i experience while tripping on psychedelics.
i tripped on shrooms up at the north shore of lake superior, in my favorite place on earth, on an epic camping trip (my first ever, with the first group of good friends i've had in years) and it was completely unremarkable. shifting colors, weird sensations, mind's eye visuals, kaleidoscope vision, strong auditory hallucinations, blah blah blah fucking blah. whatever. the camping trip itself was far more intriguing and amazing. the WEDDING i went to the next weekend was more amazing.
anybody else know any fairly experienced psychedelic user who winds up quitting them in disdain for their inability to show them something useful, beautiful, new, and sublime?
the other thing that bothers me is the way everyone I know starts to talk when they get all excited about psychedelics - waxing postmodern about the "becoming one with the Gaian Mind" or "feeling your chakra expand beyond your minor limits" or some fluffy non-philosophical bullshit that hurts my dignity to smile and nod along to.
I have a feeling someone might recommend that I try higher doses or stronger psychedelics, but i'll tell you right now I'm not going to. My mind is a fragile enough hunk of junk as it is, i've got it working just right so that i don't spiral into a Mood and kill myself out of boredom, and I don't want some strong trip to shatter my ego only to find out there's nothing underneath. In other words, by my own assessment I'm emotionally unfit for really intense trips like, for instance, DMT, so that's out.
i tripped on shrooms up at the north shore of lake superior, in my favorite place on earth, on an epic camping trip (my first ever, with the first group of good friends i've had in years) and it was completely unremarkable. shifting colors, weird sensations, mind's eye visuals, kaleidoscope vision, strong auditory hallucinations, blah blah blah fucking blah. whatever. the camping trip itself was far more intriguing and amazing. the WEDDING i went to the next weekend was more amazing.
anybody else know any fairly experienced psychedelic user who winds up quitting them in disdain for their inability to show them something useful, beautiful, new, and sublime?
the other thing that bothers me is the way everyone I know starts to talk when they get all excited about psychedelics - waxing postmodern about the "becoming one with the Gaian Mind" or "feeling your chakra expand beyond your minor limits" or some fluffy non-philosophical bullshit that hurts my dignity to smile and nod along to.
I have a feeling someone might recommend that I try higher doses or stronger psychedelics, but i'll tell you right now I'm not going to. My mind is a fragile enough hunk of junk as it is, i've got it working just right so that i don't spiral into a Mood and kill myself out of boredom, and I don't want some strong trip to shatter my ego only to find out there's nothing underneath. In other words, by my own assessment I'm emotionally unfit for really intense trips like, for instance, DMT, so that's out.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
good post turquoise70!
personally, it's good to know my limits. i can go months without touching drugs, alcohol etc...i use my drugs and experiences in moderation - they help me question my being, my memories, thoughts and moments in the last days, weeks, months and years.
my mind most definitely went 'outside the box' last week. it amazes me, these unknown places...i cant put into words my experience. it was other worldly...
all in moderation. x
personally, it's good to know my limits. i can go months without touching drugs, alcohol etc...i use my drugs and experiences in moderation - they help me question my being, my memories, thoughts and moments in the last days, weeks, months and years.
my mind most definitely went 'outside the box' last week. it amazes me, these unknown places...i cant put into words my experience. it was other worldly...
all in moderation. x
- harpoon dodger
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Geogaddi on mushrooms is such a fun experience..I listened to it while tripping on mush at my campfire with the music blaring behind me. I think I may have listened to it like that more than once, actuallyr obhR wrote:I liked BoC before I was into drugs, but then I decided that Geogaddi would be the album for my first mushroom trip back in the day and suddenly I understood their brilliance a little better.
The preparation for a dive is always a tense time.
- turquoise70
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Thanks dude! To illuminate a more positive point from my post, I'd say that I guess my bottom line is that it's all up to personal experience. When people turn drugs into a contest to see who can warp their mind the most, or a recipe for automatic spiritual enlightenment, I think is when drugs get used wrong.bleak. wrote:good post turquoise70!
personally, it's good to know my limits. i can go months without touching drugs, alcohol etc...i use my drugs and experiences in moderation - they help me question my being, my memories, thoughts and moments in the last days, weeks, months and years.
my mind most definitely went 'outside the box' last week. it amazes me, these unknown places...i cant put into words my experience. it was other worldly...
all in moderation. x
I'm probably guilty of that in the past - and I have lately been hanging around people who seem to treat psychedelics like they contain all the answers they're looking for. And in fact, that may be totally true for them, which is fine. I guess I have to learn to trust myself rather than get hung up over what other people say and do, and not to compare my life to theirs.
Which means I really shouldn't feel 'broken' or even 'left out' for not having a super deep experience every single time I trip, and I shouldn't probably say "no more shrooms forever" just because I had one lame experience with them.
From now on, I think I am going to think of a psychedelic trip as a very personal, distinct and independent "relationship" between myself and the psychedelic - to put aside outside influences and other peoples' opinions on it, and in fact to put aside past experiences in some ways. Knowing that it has so much to do with the content of my mind, and my surroundings at the time, I think I will exercise more discretion in the future.
"grand mistress of the grace note freedledeedee melodies" - Cupz, 2026
- Green Pylon
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