BOC Wars

el-seadragon · Post by **el-seadragon** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:46 am

then carefully placed a message encoded in the pixels of the BoC website header.

Crazy fans with enigma machines from the second world war quickly decoded it, revealing coordinates to a place in New Zealand. Planes to New Zealand became crushingly packed as BoC fans, hitmen sent after the brothers, and various illiterate foxes rushed to the location.

As legions marched, lead by crazed twoismers, they realised they didn't know where they were going. So one got out a map, and found the location was in the middle of a volcano.

Undeterred, the legions marched to the top of the volcano and....

Treefingers · Post by **Treefingers** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:51 pm

... saw another message.
It read:

APRIL FOOLS,
love from Joyrex.

"It's a hoax!" said one of the fans.
"Wait! April Fools is an anagram of Farll Opois... my arch-nemesis..." said...

CoBoC · Post by **CoBoC** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 6:41 pm

Most of them then jumped into the volcano; some in agony, and some to search the interior in disbeleif, looking for the new BoC album.

"Well, that takes care of all our psycho fans," said Marcus. "Thanks, Joyrex!"
"Ah, it was nothing" said Joyrex. " Now, to fulfill your end of the deal."
"Right," said Marcus "Now we will release the new 2-disc album and the BoCset."

harpoon dodger · Post by **harpoon dodger** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 9:34 pm

The entire message board imploded upon the announcement of such news..if you listened hard enough, you could hear the owls....

Cupz · Post by **Cupz** » Wed Apr 09, 2008 10:32 pm

you could feel the owls

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:14 am

Cupz wrote:you could feel the owls

The owls felt violated from being felt up and staged a revolt. They hacked up pellets and shat mid-air onto everyone's car. Marcus and Mike suddenly realized the error of their ways. "These owls are not as friendly or wise as they first seemed," quipped Mike. "In fact they're vindictive and unkind."

Marcus produced The Secret Weapon, which doubled as an owl-repulsion device when it wasn't creating one-of-a-kind nostalgic musical textures and haunting the dreams of BoC fanboys, and transported all the owls to Venus, where they formed a colloquium for retaliation. However, they didn't get anything done and preened the whole time.

Meanwhile, back on Earth....

CoBoC · Post by **CoBoC** » Thu Apr 10, 2008 5:45 am

Mike and Marcus were busy reinventing themselves.
They hammered out about a dozen album's worth of music, and decided none of it was good enough. Then they spent a lot of time out in the woods, having rock throwing fights and drinking and sitting around campfires listening to some of their unreleased stuff. Then Marcus had an idea: "Shrooms" he posited.

"We haven't done those in years! Drugs are stupid, Marucs, come on. We don't need those. Besides, that's cheating."

After discussing it at length, they eventually did do shrooms.
What resulted was...

el-seadragon · Post by **el-seadragon** » Fri Apr 11, 2008 10:05 pm

They found themselves washed up on Redpoint Beach, with several cassettes and no memory of how they got there. Unfortunately in their shroom induced haze they had forgotten that crazy fans kept a 24 hour watch on Redpoint Beach. Jeeps stormed over the dunes and raced towards them. Inside the jeeps were...

Treefingers · Post by **Treefingers** » Sat Apr 12, 2008 9:04 am

... people with watering cans for heads.
"The ukelele is under the sand." Said the obvious leader.
"X MARKS THE SPOT." Added his perpetually dancing butler.
Then they disappeared, leaving behind...

el-seadragon · Post by **el-seadragon** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 1:55 am

the mutilated corpse of Melissa Olson.

*GASP*

Dragon · Post by **Dragon** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:15 am

Marcus sheds a tear as he exclaims "Now who will direct our video for Slow This Bird Down"?

"I'll do It", said a distant voice".

And, sure enough, a thin man with white hair was stumbling towards them.

"I've got loads of editing experience. I've done fan-made YouTube videos, photo zoom-ins for BBC News, and the odd stock footage festival".

"Oh, Right. Well, we'll certainly consider it"

"Look at this video I did for Iraq says! It's got footage of the ACTUAL Crucifixion of Christ!"

"Listen, we've got a funeral to plan right now, so, could you..."

"Woooohohohhehehehee!!!!!!!"

The strange man abruptly throws a laptop at Mike's feet. He opens it, and excitedly moves the screen very close to Mike's face. And on the screen was...

747Music · Post by **747Music** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:56 am

...the thin man making sweet love to a peacock tail, which then turned into a balloon!

Shocked, the brothers immediately threw the laptop against a rock*. It didn't help. As it bounced against the rock*, completely by chance it opened firefox, went to the brothers email, logged in, typed out a detailed message discussing how this video is in fact their next album submission, and sent it to Warp.

Sensing something was wrong, Marcus telepathically sent Mike a warning call. Immediately he received a telepathic message in return telling him what just happened.

They ran to the Hexagon-mobile (a bmw 7 series re-done into a mobile hexagon) and took off to the Warp headquarters.

They expected an easy trip. One of peanut butter based sandwiches and sing-a-longs. How wrong they were. On their way there they ran into...

*edited for accuracy.... wtf? accuracy?

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 4:59 am

...Old Gregg.

Dragon · Post by **Dragon** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 5:32 am

747Music wrote:...the thin man making sweet love to a peacock tail, which then turned into a balloon!

Shocked, the brothers immediately threw the laptop against the wall.

They're at the beach

747Music · Post by **747Music** » Sun Apr 13, 2008 2:14 pm

Dragon wrote:
747Music wrote:...the thin man making sweet love to a peacock tail, which then turned into a balloon!

Shocked, the brothers immediately threw the laptop against the wall.
They're at the beach

Lots of beaches have stone, wood, or cement walls. Serves me right for going to beaches on the great lakes.

edit: Though I suppose the beach was specified as Redpoint. So lets say against a rock.

Dragon · Post by **Dragon** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 1:38 pm

"We're never gonna get there", said Mark. It's in London, for Hex sake.
"Fear not", Said Marcus, "I think you're forgetting about the power of LSD!
"How's THAT gonna get us there any faster?" Asked Mike.
"It'll make the journey go by faster than a Sesame Street vignette".

After recovering from the trip they had on their trip, they arrived at the WARP headquarters in London.

And, while there, they find...

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:52 pm

aw hey c'mon you totally skipped mine

Dragon · Post by **Dragon** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:23 pm

How do I make a story out of that?

Infinite E · Post by **Infinite E** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:51 pm

hahahaha

*leaves thread chuckling

turquoise70 · Post by **turquoise70** » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:20 pm

how don't you?