Geogaddi's the smallest weird number made me cry...

InsomniacDMG · Post by **InsomniacDMG** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 5:56 am

I've listened to BoC for about four months now and began with Geogaddi. Since my first listen through the smallest weird number always struck an oddly deep chord with me. It wasn't until recently when sitting through a listen and the song began to play that I found myself in tears. I'm an emotionally controlled and rational man, I cannot recall the last time I've cried prior to this and most would go as far as to say that I seem rather devoid of emotion so this sudden tearing was far from expected. Something about the track simply tapped something inside of me that brought forth the most alien, un-describable, overwhelming emotions of confusion, loneliness and a bleakness that I cannot compare with anything else I've ever felt in my life. It almost pains me now to listen to the track, whenever I listen through now and I don't realize the song is coming and then I hear it begins I feel a sudden rush of this alien, bleak, confusion/sorrow that frightens me and forces myself to change the track. I think I'd give myself brain damage to listen to the track on my lonesome in the dark now. I cannot explain it any-more then I have and I am not exagerating in the least bit. Anyone else feel similar though I'm sure more mild things when listening to this song?

Post by **Aesthetics** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:12 am

Welcome InsomniacDMG!

No, I don't have that experience with this particular song. Though I'm convinced that a certain sound, like with odour/smell, holds a certain thought/experience which can trigger any kind of emotion.

There have been 2 songs which brought a lump to my throat, namely: Aphex Twin - Flim and Autechre - Corc and there have been a numerous amount of songs which made my flesh creep, this is another kind of emotion triggering I think.

I know you didn't ask for an explanation of why this happen but may I be so bold?

There is a very interesting research which was held to see how people respond to the music of Gescom.
Let me quote a little piece out of this research.

"Expression of Musics in Man and Animals, Gescom acknowledged the importance of the bidirectional neural communication
between the heart and the brain via the "pneumogastric" nerve. This, the 10th cranial nerve, can now be called the felus
nerve and is the major component of the parasynthetic musical system. ... when the mind is strongly excited, we might expect
that it would instantly affect in a direct manner the heart; and this is universally acknowledged and felt to be the case."

Chyld · Post by **Chyld** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 11:27 am

I know what you feel.
Thank you for sharing this.

InsomniacDMG · Post by **InsomniacDMG** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 1:13 pm

"Expression of Musics in Man and Animals, Gescom acknowledged the importance of the bidirectional neural communication
between the heart and the brain via the "pneumogastric" nerve. This, the 10th cranial nerve, can now be called the felus
nerve and is the major component of the parasynthetic musical system. ... when the mind is strongly excited, we might expect
that it would instantly affect in a direct manner the heart; and this is universally acknowledged and felt to be the case."

Very interesting. Where did you find this information?, I'm intrigued.

I figured that I would be a bit alienated by posting this, but I'm glad I got the feedback I've gotten.

I don't think anything can compare to the frightningly in-explainable, alien, sideway's emotion that song brings me. It's such a foreign feeling that isn't really an intense loneliness, or really sorrow but something that doesn't feel like it should even belong in the human spectrum of emotion, like some more primal taboo feeling. It's odd, I cannot recall the song nearly at all without listening to it, even when only several minutes have passed since listening to it. It's like my brain is trying to erase it.

Anyone else get similar reactions to this song or some of the similar ones on Geogaddi?

Anyone have any idea what might cause this seemingly inappropriate *In sheer strength and onset* and odd reaction?

Derail · Post by **Derail** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 6:44 pm

Someone on watmm (Fumi I believe) had a similar experience to this track too. He said about 15 seconds into the track when the melody changes it made him think of an old man who's life passed him by and there was nothing more for him to do but wait to die. I think that's a pretty good description if you ask me. It's a very emotional track, but it has'nt given me that feeling. But I still get choked up when I hear ''Over the Horizon Radar" and ''Corsair". Both tracks kind of make me feel "dead" inside my soul.

As for tracks that have actually brought tears to my eyes; the only 2 I can think of are Boards of Canada "Track 6" off Old Tunes Vol. 1 (Disc 1), and Autechre's ''Vietrmx21". This is a good topic, and welcome to the forum man.

See, that's why I like this place so much. If someone posted a topic like this on watmm people would make fun of you and call you emo for actually having real fucking emotions :roll:

InsomniacDMG · Post by **InsomniacDMG** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:15 pm

See, that's why I like this place so much. If someone posted a topic like this on watmm people would make fun of you and call you emo for actually having real fucking emotions

That was the response I'd been expecting, but I'm genuinely satisfied with the sense of understanding some here are capable of.

I guess you would have to really know me to realize how utterly out of character it is for me to break down crying, I'm accused often of being a bit too emotionless, and I've never in my life been know to complain or moan, or mope about. Something about that song just triggers some fathomless well of alien emotion that I think could only be described before as not belonging to the human range of emotion.

Goiter Sanchez · Post by **Goiter Sanchez** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:29 pm

When a song is able to do something like this you know it is the work of a truly masterful artist. Seldom am I brought to tears by a song... But it does happen and when it does I am often left confused/spellbound/embarrased.

I should note that VERY few songs that initially trigger this response for me can do it more than once or twice.

Rhubarb - Aphex Twin

Piezo - Autechre

The Campfire Headphase - Boards of Canada

Certain parts of that album hit me very hard. The progression of 'Satellite Anthem Icarus' makes me think of the first time I showed Boards of Canada to my boyfriend, and how much he loved it. It was such a great feeling to share such profound art with someone that you really care about.

'Peacock Tail', as I have said before, is like a musical orgasm for me... It sits on the fence between a deeply spiritual experience and cheesy progressive new-age. FORTUNATELY it strikes a perfect balance and does it for me every time.

The chord change in 'Dayvan Cowboy' really shocked and affected me the first time I heard it...

'Tears From the Compound Eye' is almost indescribable, it's like a culmination piece; it's what BoC are all about. It's like travelling through a cave and hearing the wind funnel in through the entrance; carressing the folds and grooves of the limestone, like a giant wind instrument...

Like I said in another topic, 'Farewell Fire' makes me think of a funeral procession, possibly my own. Sometimes it overcomes me to the point where I am really uncomfortable listening to it.

There is also a pop song from the 'Lost Boys' soundtrack called 'Cry Little Sister' that once made me cry, but I think I was really baked at the time... Still worth a listen.

Of course there are countless songs that trigger the goosebumps/hair standing on end/tingly sensation, but I believe that the above songs are exceptional because they triggered an entirely different emotion.

thedisavowed · Post by **thedisavowed** » Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:50 pm

The only time I've actually cried in response to music (outside of a few religious experiences) was to DJ Food's "Minotoka." It starts out really Disney-esque.. but... it becomes really, really cerbral after a while... like it's a world unto itself. That's the music that really gets you in the chest, imo. The music that takes you somewhere else entirely.

That's why I tend to listen to stuff like BOC. You don't hear it at the grocery store or at the club (typically).. so you're free to make your own context for it.

BoC in particular will always be special to me because I discovered them during one of the most emotionally difficult phases of my life... (so far)... and putting on my headphones and disappearing into songs like "Everything You Do is a Balloon" was just an indispensable comfort to me. (Does anyone else picture scenes from Winnie the Pooh's Blustery Day when they listen to that song? Or am I just crazy?)

Incidentally, a while back we we're having a thread in Random Sound about what music we would play at our funeral. I can't remember what I put, but someone else suggested Aphex's "Tha" and I just want to say that whoever said that has impeccable taste. That would be my funeral music too.

Anyways.. this has been long enough :wink:

zander two · Post by **zander two** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 3:45 am

I've had a couple of Boards of Canada tracks do this to me. First, "you could feel the sky" seems to get me every time. And more recently, the live version of "everything you do is a balloon" from the Lighthouse set really hits me hard. It's already a powerful song but for some reason, perhaps certain portions are more accented, or maybe because its one of the few live tracks that doesn't have too much fan interference, it just gets to me. As for Aphex, I would nominate "Iz Us" as a good tear-jerker. Also Portishead's "Roads" used to make me weep in my younger days. :cry:

kozmikoid · Post by **kozmikoid** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:50 am

For me Nick Drake is able to hit the spot with many of his songs. Too many to go into detail but Fruit Tree can make my cry on certain days. His music is amongst the most beautiful I've heard.

Also, How to Disappear Completely off Radiohead's Kid A is often too much to listen to it's so intense. If I'm in a certain frame of mind it does trip my switch.

Music from The Plateux Of Mirror and The Pearl by Harold Budd and Brian Eno has a very powerful effect on me too. Both those albums are unbelievable.

As regards BOC, well there are many tracks that give me the 'so happy I'm sad' emotion. I absolutely adore From One Source All Things Depend off the Japanese release of Geogaddi. That's just such a beautiful track and can indeed summon the tears (the happy/sad tears). In the Annexe is another. There are many others of course including the above mentioned Everything You Do Is A Balloon (the standard version) which blew my mind when I first heard it.

BTW, The Smallest Weird Number does not make me cry. I don't get that vibe off it at all. The fact that it makes someone else cry is a testament to the beauty of music and our vastly different interpretations of it.

Anyway, a very thought provoking topic for sure. Must go to bed now.

Goodnight, kozmikoid. :cry:

m.oreilly · Post by **m.oreilly** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 5:20 am

this is great. we live in a valley in
rural northern california, and stepping
outside while listing to "treefingers"
from "kid A", and at sunset "you could feel the sky"...yeah...

deadfly · Post by **deadfly** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:15 pm

kozmikoid wrote:For me Nick Drake is able to hit the spot with many of his songs. Too many to go into detail but Fruit Tree can make my cry on certain days. His music is amongst the most beautiful I've heard.

Yes, Nick Drake gets me every time.

A few BoC tracks have that effect but not in a bad way.

Derail · Post by **Derail** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:23 pm

Goiter Sanchez wrote:

Rhubarb - Aphex Twin

Piezo - Autechre

Both of these tracks had me close to tears many times. Piezo is probably my favorite AE track; I love how it starts off happy and slowly transforms into something terrifying.

Lately I've heard music that made me want to cry but I've been so numb for a long time now. The anti-depressants I'm on make it very difficult for me to physically cry, and at times I've actually wanted to. It's good to just let that shit out sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like a shell of a human being devoid of emotion, but without my meds I could'nt function in everyday life.

kozmikoid · Post by **kozmikoid** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:16 pm

Hey Derail, we appreciate your honesty. I hope things work out for you.

You guys are right about Rhubarb, lovely track.

Speaking of Autechre, for goosebumps and far out sci-fi mind-trip positive vibes I just love Nine off Amber. It really takes me somewhere. It's sublime.....

kozmikoid. :lol:

Goiter Sanchez · Post by **Goiter Sanchez** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:23 pm

Oh GOD... How could I forget... THE song that brought me to my knees countless times...

An Ending (Ascent) - Brian Eno

To be honest, I'm suprised no one has mentioned this one... This is the song that broke the world of electronic music wide open for me; I'd never heard anything like it and I couldn't believe music could be SO deeply emotive as this. It is so simple and beautiful yet SO hopeless... YOU NEED TO HEAR IT; like an alien transmission...

Also up there in the tear-jerking depatment is 'All Is Full of Love' by 'Bjork'.

Definately my favorite Bjork song, I got really choked the first few times I heard it.

Also InsomniacDMG, I am wondering if you've heard track 10 off of the second side of 'Old Tunes Volume 1' because that is 'The Smallest Wierd Number' played backwards and is presumably a much older composition. I am just wondering if it does the same thing for you as the 'Geogaddi' version?

acpigeon · Post by **acpigeon** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:05 pm

Derail wrote:"Track 6" off Old Tunes Vol. 1 (Disc 1)

Oh man, I totally agree. When that quiet flute part kicks in... Kiteracer 2 is pretty emotional, too.

Derail · Post by **Derail** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:36 pm

Goiter Sanchez wrote:Oh GOD... How could I forget... THE song that brought me to my knees countless times...

An Ending (Ascent) - Brian Eno

To be honest, I'm suprised no one has mentioned this one... This is the song that broke the world of electronic music wide open for me; I'd never heard anything like it and I couldn't believe music could be SO deeply emotive as this. It is so simple and beautiful yet SO hopeless... YOU NEED TO HEAR IT; like an alien transmission...

Believe it or not, I'm actually just getting into Eno. I just heard this track for the first time last week and I totally agree with you. It's quite gorgeous.

InsomniacDMG · Post by **InsomniacDMG** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:09 am

Also InsomniacDMG, I am wondering if you've heard track 10 off of the second side of 'Old Tunes Volume 1' because that is 'The Smallest Wierd Number' played backwards and is presumably a much older composition. I am just wondering if it does the same thing for you as the 'Geogaddi' version?

I just rushed to listen to it, and surprisingly, at first it had an almost opposite effect sounding somewhat upbeat until it got to were the track makes that sudden cracked sound. The track kinda jumps, and even in reverse you can make it out and after that I felt a light bit sick, but in comparison to "The Smallest Weird Number" it had mild effects to say the least.

I'm glad this topic got such positive and plentiful response. People are discussing what songs have brought them to tears, or forced a strong, un-expected emotion.

Rhubarb *Aphex Twin* I think is a great song and was one of the first songs I heard by Aphex. It kind of warms me and takes me out of things .

However I'm unsure if any track will be able to have the same effect that "The Smallest Weird Number" does. Or atleast I kind of hope I don't find one because while what I feel in reaction to the song isn't neccesarily negative, it's far from positive. It feels like some alien, side-way's in-human emotion.

nny · Post by **nny** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:24 am

i cry each time i listen to the guitar climax ending of "Glósóli" from Sigur Rós's new album.
by the way, i think it was at their forum that a link for the real campfire headphase officially leaked.

hexagon son · Post by **hexagon son** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:01 am

slow this bird down has recently had an emotional impact on me. it makes me feel lost, which is exactly how i feel at the moment anyway. tears from the compound eye follows it on beautifully. olson has an emotional attachment for to my mothers place in nanoose, on vancouver island. i used to get up early and listen to BoC while watching the sunrise over the bay. olson just seems to remind me of it all. it one of those tracks i never payed too much attention to originally. but thats the beauty of BoC...